Manchester City Quiz: How Mario Balotelli Are You?

Yoosof Farah@@YoosofFarahSenior Writer IIIOctober 26, 2011

Manchester City Quiz: How Mario Balotelli Are You?

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    Ever wondered how much like Mario Balotelli you are? No? Well, with this quiz on the Manchester City enigma, you can find out anyway.

    The quiz contains 20 average, everyday moments in the life of Balotelli, and all you have to do is answer 'A' or 'B' to the accompanying question to each scenario.

    Then tally up all your 'A' and 'B' answers at the end to see just how alike you are to The Joker—Mr. Why Always Me?—AKA Mario Balotelli.

    Have fun!

Have You Ever Gone Shopping for an Iron and Come Back with a Trampoline?

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    Mario Balotelli was asked by his mum to pop into town and buy an iron from John Lewis.

    Five hours later, he returned home with no iron, but a lorry filled with a trampoline, a table tennis set, two Vespa scooters and a Scalextric set.

    Click here for the full story.

    So, have you ever gone shopping for an iron and come back with a trampoline?

    A: Yes, that's standard procedure when I go shopping.

    B: No, I like ironing. P.S. I have no life.

Have You Been Caught Looking at Porn with the Missus Right Next to You?

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    Out with his girlfriend at a local corner shop in Manchester, Mario Balotelli could not resist the chance to take a quick sneak peek at a soft-core pornographic magazine while she wasn't looking.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever been caught looking at porn with the missus right next to you?

    A: Yes, I have unfortunately been caught many times looking squinty-eyed at inappropriate material.

    B: No, I'm a saint. Honestly.

Have You Set Fireworks off in Your House?

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    We've had a time where we haven't been able to sleep the night before a big day at work. And last Saturday, it was the same for Mario Balotelli.

    But while most of us have another nightcap or watch mindless TV, Balotelli sets off fireworks out of his bathroom window.

    Click here to read full story.

    So, have you ever set off fireworks inside your house?

    A: Yes, it's the best way to do it.

    B: No, it is highly dangerous and very irresponsible.

Are You Friends with the Mafia?

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    Mario Balotelli was interviewed last month by anti-mafia police in Italy about his connection with the Camorra, the secret society of gangsters based in Naples, having been photographed with a few of its members.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, are you friends with anyone in the mafia?

    A: Yes, but don't tell anybody.

    B: No, and if you don't mind sir, I'd like to speak to you in private.

Have You Been Given a Hero's Welcome in Jail?

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    Mario Balotelli was welcomed like a hero when he visited a prison in Florence, Italy.

    He went along with his Azzurri teammate Gianluigi Buffon and boss Cesare Prandelli, but they were effectively ignored, unlike man of the hour: Balotelli.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever randomly been given a hero's welcome in jail?

    A: Yes, all the criminals love me; I am the lord of crime.

    B: No, I'm a good citizen and do not ever wish to converse with such "people."

Have You Tried to Assault Younger Colleagues Because You're Bored?

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    Mario Balotelli was fined £100,000—a week's wages—after he threws darts at Manchester City youth team players at the club's Carrington training complex.

    Why did he do it? His answer: because he was bored.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever tried to assault younger colleagues because work is getting tedious?

    A: Yes, it helps pass the time.

    B: No, I would never do such a thing...unless I took up darts professionally.

Have You Helped a Random Kid with Bullying Issues?

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    After being a stopped by a young fan looking for an autograph outside Manchester City's training ground, Mario Balotelli was more interested in why the kid wasn't in school. 

    When the kid said it was because he was being bullied, Balotelli drove the kid to the school, along with the child's mother, and confronted the bully. He then demanded to see the headmaster to make him aware of the issue.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever helped out a random kid with bullying problems?

    A: Yes, I'm a freelance bully prevention officer.

    B: No, I often get bullied by small children...and I'm 35 years old.

Have You Ever Given $1600 to a Homeless Person?

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    After a night out in Manchester with Blackburn Rovers defender Christopher Samba, Mario Balotelli got lucky at a casino and won $40,000.

    And being the generous man he is, Balotelli decided to give $1,600 of that to a homeless man sitting just outside the club.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever dabbled in a bit of spontaneous philanthropy?

    A: Yes, I'm minted and believe in free money for everyone.

    B: No, my name is Ebenezer Scrooge and I don't buy into all that "sharing" codswallop.

Have You Ever Been Caught by Police with $8000 in Your Back Pocket?

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    Within just a few weeks of signing for Manchester City, Mario Balotelli crashed his Audi R8 supercar.

    Stopped, interviewed and breathalysed by police, the Manchester coppers were also keen to know why he had £5,000 ($8,000) cash in his back pocket.

    His answer? "Because I'm rich."

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever been caught by police with a randomly large amount of money?

    A: Yes, I always carry many notes with me, just in case.

    B: No, I ain't got dollar. My name is Aloe Blacc. 

Have You Had Your Car Impounded 27 Times and Picked Up $16000 in Parking Fines?

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    Within less than a year of playing for Manchester City, Mario Balotelli managed to have his Maserati supercar impounded 27 times and rack up over $16,000 worth of parking fines.

    The 21-year-old has had an average of three parking tickets a day since he signed for City. Quite an impressive record.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you had your car impounded multiple times and racked up many a parking ticket?

    A: Yes, me and the traffic wardens are at war.

    B: No, I am responsible in my driving, my parking and my life.

Have You Driven Around a City Centre Randomly High-Fiving People?

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    After Manchester City's 6-1 annihilation of Manchester United at Old Trafford, Mario Balotelli reportedly drove around Manchester city centre high-fiving City fans.

    The reports are unconfirmed, but it sounds like something he would do.

    So, have you ever drove around your city centre randomly high-fiving people?

    A: Yes, I have a job as a freelance high-fiver.

    B: No. I prefer to suck the joy out of life.

Have You Worn the Shirt of Your Bitter Rivals?

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    Whilst at Inter Milan, Mario Balotelli decided, for some strange reason (well, nothing's strange to him actually), it would be a good idea to wear the shirt of his employer's main competitors on national television.

    He was filmed wearing an AC Milan jersey and, needless to say, caused a lot of controversy.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever worn the shirt of your team's bitter rivals?

    A: Yes, it felt dirty... and I loved it!

    B: No, it would go against everything I stand for in life. If I did it, I wouldn't be able to look myself in the mirror ever again.

Are You Allergic to Grass?

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    During an away UEFA Europa League match against Dynamo Kiev last season, Mario Balotelli failed to appear for the second half after suffering an allergic reaction to the grass.

    It also happened twice during his career at Inter Milan.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, like Balotelli, are you allergic to grass?

    A: Yes, I rubbed my face on some grass once and since then I've looked like a lobster.

    B: No. 

Have You Revealed an Under-Shirt Which Says "Why Always Me?" at Work?

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    After scoring the opener for Manchester City in their historic 6-1 win over Manchester United, Mario Balotelli revealed an under-shirt which read: "Why always me?"

    Click here for the full story.

    So, like the City star, have you gone into work one day, stood up, gathered everyone around with your boss watching from the sidelines, and just stared stoically into the distance whilst showing your under-shirt which says "Why Always Me?"

    A: Yes, I do it all the time.

    B: No, I need to get Manchester City's kit man to print me one too.

Have You Played with Your iPad at Work?

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    Mario Balotelli caused controversy (no surprise there) after playing with his iPad on the substitute's bench during Italy's match with the Faroe Islands.

    After being benched for the encounter, it soon became clear to the young Italian that the match was too boring, and a nice game of Angry Birds would make for much better entertainment.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever been caught playing with your iPad at work?

    A: Yes, the story of my life is based around Angry Birds.

    B: No, I am a faceless office drone.

Have You Been Arrested for Breaking into a Female Prison?

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    Mario Balotelli and his brother Enoch were once arrested and interrogated by police after breaking into a women's prison in Brescia, Italy.

    Why did they go in? Because they were curious to see what a load of female criminals together looks like.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever broken into a women's prison?

    A: Yes, I was curious.

    B: No, not me officer. I'd never do such a thing...probably.

Have You Taunted a Prostitute in a Restaurant?

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    When Mario Balotelli saw the prostitute Wayne Rooney slept with at an exclusive restaurant in Manchester, he thought he'd make the effort to be a true gentleman to her.

    Which in Balotelli's case was chant "Rooney, Rooney, Rooney!" to her face before starting a fight with her male friends.

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, have you ever taunted a prostitute before?

    A: Yes, it's my favourite pastime.

    B: No.

Have You Sworn Live on National TV?

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    Just after inspiring Manchester City to beat Stoke City and win the FA Cup at Wembley, Mario Balotelli topped it in his post-match interview.

    When asked how his first season in English football was, he replied, "It was s***."

    So, have you ever sworn live on national television?

    A: Yes, because I'm a real @~#!

    B: No.

Have You Ever Been Unable to Dress Yourself?

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    We've all had those days before work where it seems almost impossible to get dressed, whether it be due to a hangover after a heavy night out or just a ridiculously early start.

    In Mario Balotelli's case, it was just plain stupidity. Watch the video, and enjoy.

    Then answer this question: Have you ever been unable to dress yourself properly before work?

    A: Yes, this morning in fact. I had a real heavy one with the lads last night.

    B: No, I always look annoyingly impeccable. 

Do You Go Around Giving Money to Homeless Magazine Sellers?

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    Always Mr. Generous, Mario Balotelli apparently walks around Manchester giving £20 notes to homeless magazine sellers, without even purchasing the magazine.

    Sounds nice, but then again it is the Big Issue...

    Click here to read the full story.

    So, the final question to see whether you and Mario Balotelli were twins separated at birth...

    Do you walk around your local town or city giving money to random homeless people?

    A: Yes, I'm a hands-on philanthropist.

    B: No, as I said before, I'm Ebenezer Scrooge.

How Did You Do?

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    Make a tally of all the 'A' answers you gave to the 20 questions.

    On a scale of 0 to Mario Balotelli, here's how alike to the Manchester City striker you are if you scored:

    0-5: You'll never achieve the greatness of Lord Balotelli.

    5-10: Keep learning young one, one day you will be as wise as King Balotelli himself.

    10-15: Your similarities with Balotelli are clear. Get in touch with Shiekh Mansour and Roberto Mancini about organising a £1 million-per-week contract with Manchester City.

    15-Balotelli: Mario, you can't do the quiz yourself mate.