The "Mary Joey" NASCAR Championship Banquet Awards

No doubt you have heard about the "Stewie Awards," handed out prior to NASCAR's Championship banquet by none other than Tony Stewart.  And if you are a NASCAR fan, you know that Friday evening, December 5, 2008, the sport held its annual banquet to crown its champion for the year at the Waldorf Astoria.

As predicted, the Championship Banquet, spanning three hours from 9:00 pm to shortly after midnight, featured the usual congratulations from each and every speaker to Champion Jimmie Johnson and team.  Every sponsor known to the sport was mentioned in detail and thanked as well.

There were some interesting moments in the proceedings.  Many made passionate pleas for the country to support the failing auto industry.  And of course there were the obligatory thanks to the fans, without whom the sport would not exist.

But the evening just begged for further review and critiquing.  In an effort to do so, this year, another new award ceremony has been created right here on Bleacher Report. 

This newest NASCAR award creation is a true effort to not only share the best and worst of the banquet moments, but is also meant to keep the racing spirit alive in the off season that faces fans in the months ahead.

So, without further adieu, here are the "Mary Joey" awards for performances at the sports season-ending awards Championship banquet:

Best Dressed:  The best dressed at the banquet award goes to Jeff Gordon and wife Ingrid Vandebosch.  Ingrid was dressed in a stunning gray, off the shoulder gown and Jeff sported a matching gray tie in his designer tuxedo.

Worst Dressed:  The worst dressed at the banquet award sadly goes to Chandra Johnson.   Channie sported a low-cut backless pink dress that was beautiful to the waist but then had pink feathers of some sort on the rest of the floor length gown.  Chandra is also urged to partake of the Christmas ham, especially the sweet potatoes and pie, as she is looking increasingly like the Olsen twins, particularly the really, really thin one.

Best Comedic Performance:  This award goes to the comedian for the evening, John Pinette.  Although David Spade had been billed by NASCAR to be there, John instead filled the bill and did a fabulous job.

Most Annoying Voice:  This award features the most annoying voice of the evening.  It is fitting that the woman behind the voice is unknown but was heard throughout the evening, very annoyingly announcing every award and segment of the program.

Most Awkward Presentation:  The most awkward presentation award goes to the two Sprint girls, who at least were not wearing those awful Sprint uniforms that we have seen them in at every Victory Lane celebration.  They presented the Monster Moment, or more affectionately known as the Bonehead Moment, to Carl Edwards for his sling shot, hit the wall move around Jimmie Johnson to lose the race to him in Kansas.

The "What Was That All About" Award:  There was actually a tie for this award.  The first recipients were Mrs. France and Kevin Costner, who came out to talk about the history of the sport.  The other recipients were again Kevin Costner and the King, Richard Petty, for their admittedly lengthy and rambling review of the sport, all done in order to "kill a few minutes of time".

Strangest Person at the Banquet:  This award goes to Tom Cruise, who sat with Ingrid and Jeff Gordon.  Rick Hendrick introduced him as retired race car driver Cole Trickle.  It appears that Cruise as there to plug his upcoming movie.

Worst Speech:  The worst speech award goes to Kyle Busch.  His attempted humor failed and he was just not happy to be the first driver speaker up for the evening, finishing in the tenth position in the Chase.

Best Speech:  The best speech award goes to Carl Edwards.  He was natural, self-effacing and funny.  He managed to get all of his sponsors in, outgoing Office Depot and incoming Aflac, in a semi-entertaining way.  The only thing lacking in his speech was no back flip off the Waldorf Astoria stage.

Most Inspirational Speech:  Rick Hendrick receives this award for his inspiring speech on the power of us all rallying together in tough time to come out on top.

Most Special Moment:  The most special moment of the entire Championship banquet was Cale Yarborough coming out to present Jimmie Johnson with his championship rings.  Jimmie was completely surprised and could not stop talking about it.  And Cale was wonderful, reminding Jimmie that he had only tied his record, not surpassed it yet.

This concludes the presentation of the "Mary Joey" awards.  Please enjoy the remainder of your off season and Happy Holidays!

Photo Credit:  CHRIS TROTMAN / GETTY IMAGES FOR NASCAR