Miami Dolphins: Fins' Problems Go Far Beyond Chad Henne's Injury

There is no truth to the rumor that Jimmy Buffett will be named the new head coach of the Miami Dolphins after the bye week.

It wouldn't be all that bad if he was. Jimmy's certainly not clueless and he'd probably be an upgrade over Tony Sparano.

Lost another game, that's okay, let's have a "Cheeseburger in Paradise!"

Okay, seriously, this current state of Dolphin affairs is rapidly turning the fan base into Margaritaville. Heavy doses of alcohol may be the only solution to those tortured souls who have been forced to watch the ongoing nonsense in Sun Life Stadium, where there really is no life, is there?

The Dolphins head into their bye week, where they are guaranteed not to lose next Sunday although there is talk in some circles that the bye week is a three-point favorite.

To make matters really blurry, in line with a half-dozen margaritas, is the fact that starting quarterback Chad Henne has a serious shoulder injury that could threaten to end his season, mercifully. He'd be one of the lucky ones.

To make matters worse than blurry is the vote of confidence that owner Stephen Ross has given to Sparano. Moves like that make you wonder how all these uber-wealthy guys got their money. For sure, Ross didn't get his making credible football decisions.

Ah, that dreaded vote of confidence. A "vote" would imply more than one person voting, wouldn't it?

With the latest on Henne, word has it the Dolphins are shopping for quarterbacks and they really need to with Matt Moore the only healthy guy on the depth chart. David Garrard's out there and please don't tell Dolphins fans that they're considering Jake Delhomme, but they are. Yikes! 

The problems that begin to arise when the evil cloud of football disaster settles over a team's headquarters typically compound.

Most of the blame will go directly to Sparano, who is now putting a capital "L" in Lame Duck. Once there is blood in the water or lameness in the duck, things can start going sideways in the locker room.

Beyond Sparano is Jeff Ireland and if Sparano's gone, Ireland should go with him. Ireland is the spawn of Bill Parcells, who did a half-ass job of putting all of this together then casually took his money and ran off to sell his services to ESPN.

Ross simply needs to take his front office and flush twice, maybe three times and start over.

No one has done their job and neither have the players. The coaches don't miss tackles and drop touchdown passes but they are also supposed to make sure that their players are fundamentally sound so that stuff like that doesn't show up on Sunday afternoons.

Miami fans will start throwing out names like Cowher, Gruden and Fisher but what they really need to do is identify the next Jim Harbaugh, seeing as the last one gave them the "thanks but no thanks" when Ross reached out and touched someone on the West Coast.

They could also use a young hot-shot GM like Tampa Bay's Mark Dominik.

There are a lot of things these Dolphins need right now. A win in two weeks would come in very handy.

Things simply can't go on as they have.

Otherwise, Jimmy Buffett might consider writing a new song:

A Pirate Looks at 0-16.