Pack Up the Vans: These Cities Need NFL Teams

There are places in the NFL where you may actually be paid to be a "stand-in," like in a movie, there needs to be extras to make it look more realistic. Places like Kansas City, Detroit, most of the time Buffalo, Cincinnati, Oakland, Seattle, St. Louis, and even San Francisco.

The 49ers have made it to, and won the Super Bowl, five times. I guess the "What have you done for me lately" adage is still alive and kicking, unlike most of the teams on that list.

Every team on that list has something or someone to cheer about. K.C. has Tyler Thigpen and Dwayne Bowe, while Detroit has Kevin Smith, Calvin Johnson, and the promise of a restraining order against Matt Millen, who should be tried by the NFL for treason. When were you gonna draft the franchise quarterback? Why wasn't Adrian Peterson even on your draft board?

Buffalo has young receivers and Marshawn Lynch, while Oakland has McFadden and hopefully, a JaMarcus Russell who can be ready to play. Seattle has, um, hm, can you get back to me on that one?

St. Louis has Steven Jackson, while Tory Holt's foot is out the door, and the 49ers have Patrick Willis, who, next to Jon Beason of Carolina, would be the blueprint of a machine made for tackling. Also, that Frank Gore guy is nice, but two players don't win championships.

That being said, I think the majority of teams on that list need to find new homes. Not the 49ers. The world might actually stop if the 49ers leave San Francisco, kind of a move the 49ers, Bears, Packers, or Cowboys and heck might indeed, freeze over.

So here is the list of my ideas, full of greener pastures, brighter futures and maybe, a bit of gambling. Maybe in Vegas, perhaps even in a team, the fans or a city's ability to revive a franchise's football aspirations.

1. San Antonio, Texas. Estimated population-1,328,984,

Best team to head that way-St. Louis.
Probability of Success-87-97%

Reasons-With the seventh largest population in America, and in the heart of a state where football is loved almost as much as roping a massive steer, San Antonio is your place. They already have a winning team with the NBA's Spurs, so taking a few years to rebuild won't keep fans from coming to games.

Trade anything you can get draft picks for with the exception of No. 2 pick Chris Long, and Jackson and rebuild. Hey, that Vince Young guy is looking for work. Texas, didn't he play there once?

San Antonio offers the best chance of any city on my list of retaining a franchise, yes even better than....

2. Los Angeles, California. Estimated population-3,834,340

Best team to head that way-Oakland
Probability of Success-About 80-90% I'd say

Reasons-They want their Raiders back. They wanted Rams, wait, someone wants the Rams? Hm, well I can very well split them in half, and seeing that only about 20 percent of them actually belong on NFL rosters right now, yeah, probably wouldn't happen.

Give Darren MaFadden the limelight. Throw in a DJ Jazzy Jeff-(Russell) to his Fresh Prince and just take the pressure off. Or maybe add the pressure by getting a coach who doesn't take any crap. Paging Mike Sherman, is there a Mike Sherman in the house? He did make Favre the man, and Russell could become "that guy."

Go after a wideout. Perhaps Anquan Boldin, since Al Davis has his checkbook out. Maybe settle on T.J. Houshmandzadeh, who still would be a vast improvement over the laundry list of receivers that haven't cashed in on Russell's cannon.

3. Portland, Oregon Estimated population-550,396

Best team to head that way-Seattle
Probability of Success-About 75-85%

Reasons-Okay, yes Seattle has 50,000 more people than Portland. Yes, Seattle has Starbucks, and yes they have won there recently. This, however, isn't the same Seattle team. By the end of this season, there will be no more Mike Holmgren, or Shaun Alexander (cut by the Redskins recently) and a Hasselbeck who has lost a step, or four.

They need to be rejuvenated. Portland can do that. It's just 83 miles away from Corvallis, home of Oregon State, where two of the NFL's top wideouts, Cincinnati's Chad Ocho-Cinco and T.J. Houshmandzadeh played their college at and could be had via the trade.

The Seahawks need a lot of help, especially with Jim "Moron" Mora Jr. tacking over. I've never been a fan of him and he's showing me now why leaving him in Seattle would be a great idea.

4. Columbus,Ohio Estimated population-747,755

Best team to head that way-Cincinnati
Probability of Success-About 78-94%

Reasons-With more than double the amount of people than Cincinnati and the football laced fanbase of "The" Ohio State University, Columbus just makes sense. Columbus is a warm, family oriented place.

Players who have played for Ohio State could potentially, want to play near their Alma Mater and Columbus has the fan base.

5. San Jose, California  Estimated population-939,899

Best team to head that way-Buffalo
Probability of Success-About 78-85%

Reasons-Nearly 1 million people live here. Their hockey team is thriving and they need another team.

Sending Buffalo/San Jose to the AFC West, Jacksonville to the AFC East and Kansas City/Oklahoma City/Las Vegas-(up next) wouldn't be hard. it would require league approval, but what doesn't need league approval anymore. John Madden using the restroom, probably requires league approval.

Trent Edwards, your franchise QB, lives in Los Gatos, CA, that would make him more than happy to sleep in his own bed more often. I'm just saying.

And Finally...

6.Oklahoma City/Las Vegas Estimated population-OKC-547,274  LV-558,880

Best team to head that way-Kansas City
Probability of Success-About 70-85%

Reasons-Both cities could provide home to a revival of the Chiefs.

Thigpen, and Bowe are exciting playing. Much like the McFadden/Russell duo in Oakland. They just need seasoning. OKC is intriguing because of a potential Bob Stoops coaching job and Las Vegas, is Las Vegas, it's growing faster each year.

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I hope you guys enjoyed the column, I hope you guys have opinions. People who live in these cities, would you like to see some football? People who live in the cities who might lose the teams, are you thinking Expansion Team Anyone? What're your opinions on this?