Rock, Paper, Scissors, BCS Championship

Johnny: Alright guys, we’re gonna play a new game. It’s called Longhorn, Red Raider, Sooner, shoot.

Jimmy: That sounds a lot like Rock, Paper, Scissors, shoot. Are you sure we won’t be sued for copyright infringement?

Jessie: Shut up Jimmy. You ruin everything. Just let Johnny explain the rules to his game.

Johnny: Well Jimmy, it is a lot like Rock, Paper, Scissors, but we are only 10 years old so we won’t get sued. Here are the rules. You can throw one of three things: A Longhorn, a Red Raider or a Sooner.

Jimmy: Well, what beats what?

Johnny: Ok, well first and foremost: A Longhorn beats a Sooner. You see, Sooners are just people involved with marking off land and kicking Native Americans out of their terrain. A Longhorn would just run over a Sooner.

Jessie: Alright, that sounds fair enough. What happens if you throw Longhorn and I throw Red Raider?

Johnny: Well it’s common knowledge that a bull’s least favorite color is Red. It makes them crazy. And A Red Raider could, with a little bit of a struggle, slay a Longhorn.

Jimmy: Like a matador...I get it. But what about a Red Raider against a Sooner?

Johnny: A Sooner, by definition has the ability to legally quarantine a Red Raider. So a Sooner beats a Red Raider.

Jimmy: Wait. That’s even more stupid than paper beating rock.

Jessie: A SOONER BEATS A RED RAIDER JIMMY. DEAL WITH IT.

Johnny: Alright guys, so we’re almost ready to play. There’s just one more rule.

Jessie: What’s that?

Johnny: You only have one chance to beat both other people.

Jimmy: Wait…There are three of us, and three symbols. And we only have one shot at beating the other two. The odds of us in a three way tie are incredible.

Jessie: Yeah Johnny, I actually agree with Jimmy on this one. What happens when we all tie?

Johnny: Well lucky for you guys, I have that already figured out. If we all tie, we go to the computer.

Jessie: Computer?

Johnny: Yes, I have a computer that will be able to decide the winner if there is a three way tie. It factors in who you lost to, when you lost, and how fast your shoot time was.

Jimmy: That is without a doubt the dumbest thing I have ever heard. I’m leaving.

Jessie: Me too, let’s go play Xbox.

Johnny: Wait guys, you haven’t even seen the cool hand symbols you get to make!