Things Your Wife Will Tell You While Your Trying To Watch Football

Ever sit down to watch a good game, only to have your wife run in and blurt something out to you? 

Here are just a few good ones! Enjoy Saturday and Sunday!

My wife ran into the room right after the kick-off and said, "Honey, I'd like to go somewhere I haven't been in a long time for our anniversary!" I suggested the kitchen!

I like to hold my wife's hand during the games, otherwise she takes off shopping!

My wife said "There's too many electric gadgets in the kitchen. There's an electric bread-maker, an electric blender, and an electric dishwasher. I don't have anywhere to sit down." So I bought her an electric chair!

My wife came running in and said, "The car's not running well. There's water in the carburetor." I asked, "Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake!"

My wife went to the beauty salon and got a mud pack on her face for two days. She looked great. Then the mud fell off!

My wife went running after the garbage truck! She yelled, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver yelled, "No! Hop in!"

I married Miss Right! I just didn't know her first name was Always!

I was watching a good game and the wife ran in, stared at the TV and said, "Whats on the television?" I said, "dust!"

From now on we are going to go out to nice restaurants, have a nice dinner, have a couple of drinks, and relax.. I'm going on Tuesday, she can go on Friday!

We are going to sleep in separate beds from now on. Mine's in Florida, Her's is in California!

Seriously folks, I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back!

Remember, marriage is the number one cause of divorce!

These gems were one liners from the late and great comedian who graced our televisions years ago on "The Red Skelton Hour" on CBS, I believe.

Thanks for e-mailing these gems to me, Mom!

I will finish this article with what Red Skelton said at the end of every show!

Good night and God bless!

Thomas Moreland