Ten Things I Hate About You...Manny

As a lifelong New York Yankees fan, it has been excruciating watching Joe Torre lead the Dodgers to a surprising playoff berth, albeit in a weak division. 

However, worse than seeing my favorite skipper advance to his 13th consecutive postseason without the Bombers was witnessing the unholiest pairing of all time, joining the forces of good, Torre, and evil, Manny Ramirez.  It was like watching Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker having a cup of tea with one another as they shared intergalactic battle stories! 

So, as I sat and watched their good fortune, a swelling of anger permeated throughout my pinstriped heart.  This list is the conglomeration of months of agony.

10.  Why does Manny always get free passes?

Why is it that he can continually do the wrong thing and upset the wrong people and still be successful?  Does your level of talent supersede your chemistry with the team?  Is baseball a one-man game, or does it require nine players battling together?  I know what Manny's answer would be.

9.  Please, people, consider Manny's horrific fielding skills.

Manny's remarkable catch against the wall before high-fiving a fan and throwing a runner out at first aside, he is a lazy, unreliable corner outfielder.  Arguments abound when naming great players that a truly outstanding player should be well-rounded.  Well, aside from his appearance, he is not a well-rounded player due to his poor fielding capabilities. 

8.  Torre and Ramirez together is like pairing Gandhi with Hitler. 

7.  How did Manny get run out of the same city that worshipped the Fenway grass he walked on?

6.  Bloated contracts typically lead to bloated egos.

As a Yankees fan, I have no room to comment, but how much money can someone really expect for hitting and catching a ball?  I think it has become a bit ridiculous with the amount of money certain players are receiving

5.  If we killed Barry Bonds for his treatment of the media, how do we not mention Manny in the same sentence?

4.  The limp.

When reading about the limping incident recently, it made me think back to junior high school, when kids would try to get out of football practice for the day by faking a limp.  Watching their performance was like watching the Tom Cruise Scientology video on YouTube: painfully awkward.

So, it does not surprise me, or any true baseball fan for that matter, that Ramirez would attempt a fake injury and totally butcher it like he butchered his relationship with the Red Sox organization.  I mean, come on Manny—at least remember which knee you pretended to hurt!

3.  The Red Sox flourished with him...enough said.

2.  July 31st: A day that will live in infamy.

The trade heard round the world.

1.  Why God, why?

I guess the real reason I feel so passionately hateful toward Manny Ramirez is the undeniable fact that he is this generation's most dynamic hitter and baseball personality.  Years from now, when I sit my grandkids on my lap to bore them with stories of the past, I want to mention classy players like Ken Griffey, Jr. or Derek Jeter. 

However, I would be lying if I did not mention Manny as being one of the best hitters of all-time.  As scary as it seems for me to even type it, we will, one day, be mentioning Ramirez's name in the same sentence as Joe DiMaggio, Mickey Mantle, and Babe Ruth!

It's blasphemy, I know, but it is also something us Yankees fans will have to start getting used to.

Manny Ramirez, the first ballot Hall of Famer.  How could it get any worse?