College Football Opening Day: The Presents I Can't Wait to Unwrap

The college football season is finally here, so I want to tell you which presents I hope I find under my college football tree in 2011.  Actually, I am one-eighth German-Jewish, so I find it more appropriate to lean on my heritage as I consider the multiple days of presents before us, as opposed to a single day of giving.  What's on my wish list this year?

1) A Boise State Loss

I know I received it last year when the Broncos lost to Nevada, but please, please, please, can I get it, again?  They're going to play an awful Georgia team and win.  Then, they're going to say, "Hey!  We must be good!  We beat an SEC team!"

Let me explain my logic, here, which is a bit twisted and convoluted.  Unfortunately, Boise St is a victim of an unfair BCS system that protects its own.

Boise State wants to play a tougher schedule, but can't. It's not their fault Georgia is down this year.  They tried.

However, getting up for two games a year, one at the beginning of the year and one at the end, is not nearly as hard on your players physically as getting up for tough, hard-nosed games week in and week out. 

Put Boise in the SEC and see how they fare after a grueling schedule against Alabama, Tennessee, LSU, and Florida. 

Boise State simply isn't deserving of its Top 10 ranking. One bowl game does not make a season. The Big 12 is looking for teams, though.  Step up to the plate, Boise, and make a push.

2)  A Miami Death Penalty

Miami simply doesn't get it.  They spent the entire 1980's cheating and getting caught.  They kept their nose clean in the 90's, only to return before the NCAA infractions committee after the turn of the century. 

Then, Nevin Lawson drops this bombshell?  I mean, everybody knew and has known Miami was a dirty program.  Do you remember the Camo pants, or Lou Holtz threatening to fight Jimmy Johnson?  C'mon...this program is asking for it. 

College football teams need a wake-up call.  Using a team from Longest Yard's Penal League may just do the trick.  Additionally, universities like Miami need to understand that no program is "too big to fail."

 3)  An Andrew Luck Heisman

Andrew Luck showed off his abilities last year, making a valiant effort for Heisman consideration, only to be edged out by Cam Newton, who was able to add a National Title to his list of accolades. 

Though Jim Harbaugh departed for the NFL, Luck still has his former offensive coordinator, David Shaw, to guide him as Stanford's new head coach. 

With the succession of Shaw to the top of the tree, Luck will benefit from a continuity that many other quarterbacks are not fortunate enough to find in a coaching transition. 

In order for Luck to win the Heisman, it likely means he's won the Pac-12 and beaten USC.  And there are very few things better than watching an entitled USC program led by spoiled child Lane Kiffin lose (especially to a program that does it the right way academically and athletically).

Which brings me to my ulterior motive in Luck winning the Heisman - a Notre Dame BCS bid.  If Luck makes it through the season undefeated, a Notre Dame win over Thanksgiving weekend won't hurt his Heisman chances, but will bolster the Irish in their bid to return to a BCS game, even if the Irish drop two or three during the year.

 4)  A Memphis Acceptance to the Big 12

 Yes, Memphis is at the bottom of the barrel in terms of football programs, this year, but the school has potential if it can overcome the politics currently at play. 

Under Tommy West, Memphis was competitive, especially with Deangelo Williams at tailback. But even before then, West was able to make the Tigers a threat to others. 

Everyone is familiar with Tiger basketball which would fit nicely in the Big 12 playing against the likes of Texas, Oklahoma, Baylor, and Kansas. 

Memphis has worked hard to improve other facilities, and would expand both television coverage and Big 12 recruiting into SEC territory. 

Despite Memphis' incessant unpreparedness every time a BCS opportunity presents itself, I still hold out hope that some conference will take a chance on the Tigers, giving them the opportunity they've always wanted, and allowing them to finally live up to their true potential as an athletic program.

 5)  A Sensational Farewell for Joe Paterno

Ol' JoePa has been at the helm for decades, and every year we expect him to retire, but I think this is the year. 

After an early loss to Alabama, Penn State rebounds for a remarkable season in the Big Ten. They wind up in the Rose Bowl in a rematch with a Crimson Tide team who makes it into the BCS as an at-large.

A classic match up between North and South, JoePa finally has a moment of lucidity and coaches the greatest game of his life, going toe to toe with Nick Saban in a battle for the ages. 

With only seconds remaining, the Nittany Lions score, only an extra point away from sending the Rose Bowl into overtime, but JoePa elects to go for two.  It's the call of a lifetime. 

With Alabama's stout defense ready to stuff anything up the middle, the Penn State offensive line fires off the ball pushing the Crimson Tide backwards, while Silas Redd buries his head to grind his way for the final inch needed to give Paterno his final victory. 

Afterwards, JoePa is carried off the field with a rose in his mouth, knowing the future rests with Al Golden, who will have already abandoned a sinking Miami program.