Alabama vs. Auburn: This Time It's Personal

Hey Auburn Tigers fans, be sure have those "Got 7?" tee shirts printed up, and for good measure, go ahead and wear them game day. 

Be sure and have your coach say something else smart-ass like, "We've never lost at Jordan-Hare West, and it ain't gonna start this year...I know they have the Messiah over there, but he might want to take that day off."

Oh wait, he's already said that. 

He's waved his six fingers and worn that tacky tee shirt.  Your fans have really poured all the salt they could in that wound.  And soon, everything you've gained in those six wins, will be all gone.

Oh, I forgot, it already is. 

You were picked to win the SEC West this year, and except for that heroic (tongue firmly in cheek) win over the Mississippi State Bulldogs, 3-2, you would officially be the worst team in the SEC. (Although many think you already are despite the record)

During the worst 10 years of our existence, we only won one SEC Championship. 

Gee, isn't that the same as your last ten years?  In our worst ten years, you've scored an average of 20 points per game against us, while we have scored only 19. 

Wow, what dominance.

In our worst 10 years, you managed to beat us by as many as nine points...ONCE. 

But wait, in that same time, we've drilled you by 24 and by more than nine points THREE times. 

Oh, but these were the years your coach called, "Auburn's Glory years?"

Are you getting the point that the "high water mark" of Auburn is about equal to our worst output ever?  And you wonder why you aren't respected nationwide?  During your "Glory Years" how many Sports Illustrated covers proclaimed your greatness? 

Oh wait, that was us.

You took advantage of our NCAA troubles and the coaching carousel it caused, but uh-oh, do you hear that "Jaws" music in the background? 

Can you feel the impending doom? 

Is the Jordan-Hare on the back of your neck standing up? 

Are you afraid—no, VERY afraid?

Well, in just a few days, we're going to put the world back in order.  We're not just going to run a track meet on that sorry team of yours.  We are going to pound it down your throat in slow and brutal fashion, so that any Auburn player who comes on the field won't have to look at the scoreboard to know how bad he was beat—his body will tell him.

This time it's not just a game, it's not just an Iron Bowl, it's personal. 

We're not just dragging your stomped-on carcass back to mediocrity, but your coach's career too.  Let's see how smug he is after this one. 

When the game is over and you look over to the winning sideline and see players raising one digit in the air, please don't think we're imitating your silly shenanigans by having to count for our fans how many we've won in a row.

We're raising one finger because we are Alabama, we've finished our "Revenge Tour" and we are reminding you of our national ranking. 

We are number one and we are reminding everyone that you are, and will remain, what children call number two.  Because this year, it's personal!