National League MVP: Pundits Pick Pujols...Say, What?

John: "Hey Barack. I hear there's another election in November. Wanna do double or nothing?"

Barack: "John, I'd love to play, but why would I do that?"

John: "I don't know, Barack. I'm senile".

Barack: "Really?"

John: "Yeah, why do you think I picked the Hockey Mom during baseball season?"

Barack: "Cuz she was hotter than Hillary?"

John: "Any how. About the election. Pujols or Howard?"

Barack: "I stand for Change, John. How about a winner other than the Phillies?"

John: "I guess so, Barack. Let me see how the writers voted in 2006."

Barack: "Say what?"

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Tom Brokaw: "In the most important National (League) Election since, well, the National Election, writers will be voting to "elect" the 2008 National League Most Valuable player."
 
"But will it be a land slide or go down to the wire?"
 
"Will the polls point to the right (First Base, Right field, Second Base included), to the Center (Gotta be strong up the middle) or to the left (3rd base, SS or left field)? "

"Top candidates, include Perennial Favorites, Ryan Howard and Albert Pujols, Upstart Ryan Braun, Dark-horse Carlos Delgado, and a candidate from the monarchy, Prince Fielder."

NEWS BREAK: 

Katie Couric: "Excuse me, Tom. National experts are stating that in order to call this election, one must look back to the voting of 2006."

Tom: "Say what?"

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Wolf Blitzer: "We took the 2008 batting statistics of the five candidates and compared the following categories: 

	Games	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI
Howard	162	610	105	153	26	4	48	146
Delgado	159	598	96	162	32	1	38	115
Braun	151	611	92	174	39	7	37	106
Pujols	148	524	100	187	44	0	37	116
Fielder	159	588	86	162	30	2	34	102

Then we took these additional statistics and divided them amongst Red and Blue States:

TB	BB	SO	OBP	SLG	AVG	SF	IBB	TPA	XBH	OPS
331	81	199	0.339	0.543	0.251	6	17	700	78	0.881
310	72	124	0.353	0.518	0.271	8	19	686	71	0.871
338	42	129	0.335	0.553	0.285	4	4	663	83	0.888
342	104	54	0.462	0.653	0.357	8	34	641	81	1.114
298	84	134	0.372	0.507	0.276	10	19	694	66	0.879

  

Hold on for a moment, we may need a mathematician to determine what this all means. Raymond?"

Raymond: "Ah yes, definitely need a mathematician. Definitely, not gonna rain. Not a good day for the Rain-man. Definitely gotta see Wheel of Fortune."

Wolf: "Raymond, can you make heads or tails of the polls?"

Raymond: "Definitely Heads. Or could be tails. Definitely Heads or Tails."

Wolf: "Who do you think you are? Einstein?"

Einstein: "Does anybody have a piece of Pi? The interpretation of the figures above is stated by taking the top performer in each category and assigning the numerical equivalent of one to that person. The integer two is awarded to the second finisher in each category up to the number five for the last place, but in actuality, the fifth place finisher."

Wolf: "Say what?"

Name	Games	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI
Howard	1	2	1	4	5	2	1	1
Delgado	2	3	3	3	3	4	2	3
Braun	3	1	4	2	2	1	3	4
Pujols	4	5	2	1	1	5	3	2
Fielder	2	4	5	3	4	3	4	5

TB	BB	SO	OBP	SLG	AVG	SF	IBB	TPA	XBH	OPS	Total
3	3	5	4	3	5	3	3	1	3	3	54
4	4	2	3	4	4	2	2	3	4	5	62
2	5	3	5	2	2	4	4	4	1	2	116
1	1	1	1	1	1	2	1	5	2	1	44
5	2	4	2	5	3	1	2	2	5	4	67

Bob Scheiffer: "And clearly Americans, with 1% of all national ballots counted the winner is Albert Pujols with 39 votes over Ryan Howard with 50 votes. Only in America can a slugger from St Louis via Dominican Republic beat a slugger from Philadelphia via St Louis. Only in  America can a man with 39 votes beat a beat a man with 50 votes. "

W: "Wait, Bob. My brother is on the line and he represents the great state of Florida."

Bob Scheiffer: "And?"

W: "I know my baseball, Bob, as I was once the President. Say what? I was once the President of the Texas Rangers. It was a birthday gift from my Dad."

Bob Scheiffer: "And?"

W: "By the way, Bob. I love your daughter, Claudia. But anyhow. Can't anoint the election of National League MVP to Pujols. Seems that jumbling his name spells L-u-p-h-o-l-d. "

Quayle: "Say what?"

W: "Yesiree, Bob. Can't elect Pujols MVP as his team finished with a record six games worse than Howard's team."

Bob Scheiffer and Quayle: "Say what?"

Hillary: "Let me get this straight. Pujols led Howard in hits, doubles, walks , fewer strike outs, total bases, intentional walks, On Base %, Slugging %, OPS, and Extra Base Hits, but Howard could win it on a technicality?"

Sarah: "(singing) I Can See for Miles and Miles."

Hillary: "Speak, Pit Bull."

Sarah: "I'm not even sure what the Vice President does?"

Hillary: "A heart beat away, huh?"

Sarah: "I believe the precedent was set in 2006 when I was mayor of Podunk. Ryan Howard was voted MVP despite the fact that his Phillies team finished 12 games behind first place. Experts thought it would go to Pujols, but Howard prevailed."

Hillary: "Say what?"

Yogi: "And that's why they say, "It isn't over til it's over."

AFLAC Duck: "Say What?"