2011 NFL Predictions: Ranking the NFL Divisions from Worst to First

Word association games are always fun. I say "Haynesworth," you say “headache.” I say “Kolb,” you say “overrated.” I say “Willis,” you say “beast” (or, “whatchutalkinbout”). I say “Goodell,” you say “zzzzzzzzz.” Stuff like that.

Well, we’re going to rank the division in the NFL right now and riff off that. A couple weeks ago, Colin Cowherd did a gimmick on his show where he summed up each NFL team in three words. I didn’t actually hear it; a friend told me. But I liked the idea enough that, after a few words about the division overall, we’re going to do the same thing here. If there is any overlap, it’s simply because those words are accurate descriptors.

NFC West: No. 349,345

This division sent a team to the playoffs with a 7-9 record. 7-9. The 2010 Seahawks are reason numero uno for doing away with divisions. And they decided to continue their success by putting Tavaris Jackson at the helm. I love the 'Niners—my team, without question—but I would have had trouble protesting if the NFL had put the NFC West on probation for a season.

And I’m not sure what’s happened to make this division any better. Anyone sold on Kevin Kolb should probably wire money to the Prince of Nigeria, too. In four seasons, he’s thrown 11 career touchdowns and 14 career interceptions. Why are we acting like he’s some sort of savior? I guess anything is better than the quarterback situation last year.

St Louis and Sam Bradford may be the only reason this division isn’t relegated to the UFL.

San Francisco: Bench Smith, PLEASE

Arizona: Kolb Plan B (?)

St Louis: Step Up Time

Seattle: Playoff Black Eye

AFC West: No. 7

This division was given false hope last year by playing the aforementioned NFC West and by beating up on the pathetic Broncos.

If you hunt around the comments section of Bleacher Report (or this article, eventually), you will see legions of delusional Raider fans that believe they have a real shot in the playoffs this year. Last year’s cream puff wins have altered reality for 2011. Hopefully, it doesn’t check too hard.

San Diego could be a sneaky sleeper, but they’re not getting out of the first round with Rebound Coach Norv Turner at the helm.

Kansas City: Need offensive balance

Broncos: Rebuilding year, again

San Diego: Losing Rivera hurts

Oakland: Six and 10

AFC South: No. 6

This is a division with one contender, one pretender and two rebuilders. Peyton Manning, Chris Johnson and the Texans' offense are the only three bright spots in a division that not long ago was one of the most feared in the NFL. If both Locker and Gabbert live up to their billing, however, that title would return quickly—but just on the offensive side of the ball.

Tennessee had the best ranking last season by points allowed per game, and they were 15th in the NFL. The other three all toiled in the lower third of the league.

Indianapolis: Need running game

Jacksonville: Don’t rush Gabbert

Tennessee: Handoff to CJ

Houston: Learn about defense

NFC South: No. 5

This is a division with a lot of teams moving in different directions in the NFL casino. The Falcons pushed all their chips to the middle of the table. The Panthers are just getting back from the ATM, hoping to buy in again. The Buccaneers just won a couple hundred lucky bucks (easy schedule) at the roulette table and are hoping to parlay those winnings into something bigger. The Saints have been sitting at third base with the thin grin of a man that won big a couple nights ago but can feel that he’s riding a bigger wave of luck than people realize.

Atlanta: Super Bowl only

Carolina: Cam equals JaMarcus

New Orleans: Paper tiger defense

Tampa Bay: Freeman’s big shoulders

NFC North: No. 4

This division is like the AFC South Plus: a real contender, a contender that some say is pretending and two teams rebuilding but with significant threats on either side of the ball.

No reason the Packers don’t go deep into the playoffs again—especially with a healthy running game. The Bears just need to show some life on offense, and they’ll be a grind-out version of the Packers. The Lions and Vikings both have their weapons (AP, Megatron, defensive lines), but don’t quite have all the gears to be super imposing (yet).

Green Bay: Perfect NFL balance

Minnesota: Need the pass

Detroit: Make that leap

Chicago: Step up, Cutler

NFC East: No. 3

The question mark division. Can Mike Vick repeat? Can the Eagles' talent gel? Will Andy Reid learn about clock management? Now that Jason Garrett finally has the helm, can he turn the Cowboys into contenders? Will Tony Romo come back 100 percent? Will he ever be clutch? Can Eli Manning turn the ball over 30 times again? How good is the Giants' defense this time around? Who is John Beck?

Dallas: Resurgence or repeat

Washington: Seriously, who’s Beck?

New York: Interceptions are interceptions

Philadelphia: Can’t buy love

AFC North: No. 2

Yes, a division with the Bengals and Browns is this high. And no, neither will be that good this year. But the Ravens and the Steelers are two of the top five teams in the league in 2011.

The Ravens need to get out of the Steel Shadow, but for the other 14 games, they are going to be a tough squad to hang with. After shoring up their receiver corps, Baltimore shouldn’t have many fail points in their game this season.

And the Steelers aren’t giving up their heavyweight status until Dick LeBeau moves on. He is simply one of the best defensive minds the game has ever seen.

Cincinnati: Goodbye Marvin Lewis

Cleveland: Colt McCoy Experiment

Baltimore: Monkey off back

Pittsburgh: Smashmouth football, forever

AFC East: No. 1

The Bills are going to be bad. And Miami is going to give a few teams a run for their money, but ultimately not win more than eight games. You can only go so far with Chad Henne throwing the ball.

But the Patriots and the Jets, once again, are going to be league heavyweights—and big ones. Not much needs to be said about New England and the annual ominous cloud they hang over the league. The Jets—provided Mark Sanchez can keep those egregious interceptions down again—are going to be pretty similar to their team last year: grind out the ground, play lethal defense.

Both teams enjoy a superb home-field advantage after November as well. Never discount the cold as the 12th (and 13th) man.

Buffalo: Go to Canada

Miami: Good; not great

New England: Contender until otherwise

New York: Rex Ryan Show

[Follow Caleb on Twitter at @calebgarling]