Dear Kurt Warner: Welcome Back, Kotter!

To: Kurt Warner, Former and Future NFL MVP QB, Arizona Cardinals

From: The St. Louis Rams Fanbase

RE: The Resurrection of Your Career

Dear Mr. Warner:

What do Jake Plummer and Matt Leinart have in common? They're not you. They never performed in the extreme clutch. They never won the one game that matters to every NFL professional. They never won a Super Bowl using their arm. And they most likely never thought you would be doing what you are doing right now.

Thanks to you, the Arizona Cardinals (yes, the Arizona Cardinals) are on the verge of winning their first NFC West Division Title. In a beyond mediocre division, every so called "expert" has dubbed this a light experience for you. They say that your Cardinals are just lucky to be in a division that sucks so badly. But the problem is that your team was expected to be in the basement along with St. Louis and San Francisco. But it turns out that it's the Rams and Seattle that are in the basement.

Thanks to your wife's ill-fated judgment, you were sent packing from St. Louis without even a going away party. Then the New York Football Giants decided that they would much rather have Eli Manning than you. So they sent you away also without a going away party. Now here you are with Arizona sipping champagne in your nice desert home. Now you're looking like the player that we here in Gateway City knew and respected. Even though most of us don't like you mainly because of Brenda's mouth, we all still respect what you have done this season.

Speaking of Brenda Warner, it's nice to watch a game and not have the camera pan over to your wife's face every five minutes. With all due respect, Kurt, seeing that butch flat top of hers made me want to laugh my keister off. But in all honesty, when they started focusing more on Kurt Warner the player and less on Kurt Warner the scapegoat, it's amazing how quickly everyone's attitude towards you changes when you start playing like you have been known to play.

You are Mr. Clutch, and thanks to Michael Cline, I see it now. I will admit that I was wrong to bash you a few years ago, but I will say that it apparently motivated you since you do frequent this site on certain days of the week (the ones that end in "y"). Contrary to the "experts," I will say that I am impressed with the way that you have played this season. I am impressed with the way that the Cardinals have unified around you (almost like another team you used to play for) and stuck by your side.

But in all honesty, you should thank Matt Leinart and Jake Plummer. If Fake Jake didn't jump ship to Broncos Country and Leinart didn't make his jacuzzi appearance in the new Girls Gone Wild: Desert Heat (out on DVD soon), you wouldn't have gotten the chance to prove that you still got it. And trust me when I say this, Kurt: You still got it Barnstormer!

So good luck the remainder of the season. I hope that the Cards make it because they deserve it. We'll see you in January (we hope).

With the Best Intentions

The St. Louis Rams