Copa America 2011: 4 Reasons to Say, "Good Riddance"

Finally...it's over. The torrid month-long exercise in boredom better known as the Copa America has come to a merciful conclusion. But what had been built up as the ultimate exhibition of South American talent proved little more than overblown, overdrawn tedium. What happened to the goal-fest we were promised? The tricks, the step-overs, the blatant dives? Where did it all go so drearily wrong?  

Demo Teams

By and large many teams (especially the Big Two) were in an evident stage of transformation. In the wake of a deluded 2010 World Cup both Brazil and Argentina appointed new coaches (Mario Menezes and Sergio Batiste, respectively) with the express purpose of avoiding similar fates in 2014. With the Copa as their first real managerial experiment, they were always going to be thinking beyond the tournament itself. Brazil won the WC draw with the express purpose of adding a sixth star to the jersey and clearly feels it must build for the future. As such, the Copa America side was characterized by youth and inexperience to a startling degree. Mexico was particularly egregious as well, fielding its U-23 team and cashing both the Gold Cup and Copa America checks simultaneously.

Underwhelming Stars

Nominally stacked with talent, the Copa America was advertised as the stage from which a generation of talented youngsters like Neymar, Ganso and Sanchez would crystallize into the world-class players everyone expects them to become. On the flip side it was an opportunity for more established stars—Messi, Tevez, Pato, Robinho—to replicate their trophy-winning club form for their country. Instead, we got neither. A wishy-washy, all-fluff Brazil side consistently underwhelmed as did a toothless Argentina. One wonders how such mediocrity will affect the transfer speculations surrounding your various Neymars Gansos and (especially) Agueros of the competition, but you can expect it not to be positive.

Just Plain Boring

Most. Boring. Tournament. Ever. Seriously, I can’t think of a single game that really quickened my pulse. That spark that is synonymous with the South American game was totally absent this time around. And so many draws—11 out of 18 games. Really?! Then three out of the final eight were eliminated through penalties, including Brazil and Argentina. While that carries its own particular excitement, there’s no substituting the real thing. Sure, there were a few high-scoring matches, but by and large they were one way drubbings: 3-0 Argentina-Costa Rica, 4:2 Brazil-Ecuador, 3:0 Uruguay-Paraguay...

All Giant-Killers, No Giants

Without Goliath, David's just some kid with a slingshot.

The paradigm would haunt the Copa America final itself, when two “underdog” teams in Uruguay and Paraguay—topplers of Argentina and Brazil, respectively—clashed on Sunday in a one-way affair that sealed Uruguay’s historic 15th South American title, one more than rivals Argentina.

The Paraguayan obstinate pluck that had proven so adept at negating the feints and dodges of the Selecao could do no more than merely hinder a Celeste side all but preordained for the title.

Kudos must be extended to the Uruguayans, of course, as they played mesmerizingly well, not just in the final but throughout the tournament—Luis Suarez, with a suave physicality courtesy of the Kop, overwhelmingly deserves recognition as player of the tournament, while Forlan and the rest of the starting XI tackled smarter, passed cleaner and played grittier than all competitors.

At the tournament’s beginning, many pundits had pegged Uruguay as the “dark horse” candidate for the trophy—Brazil and Argentina being the two favorites—and the quarterfinal against Argentina was far and away the most entertaining match of the tournament because there was a palpable "underdog" charge to it. But replace "Argentina" with "Paraguay" and that charge just sucks right out.

What made matters worse was just how much better Uruguay proved to be. Why root against them? Heck, why root at all? Just enjoy what goals you can and be happy that the new season is almost here.