Who Will Need Their Tums at the Martinsville Race?

This weekend is the sixth race in NASCAR's race for the championship at Martinsville Speedway.  The race is being sponsored by Tums, hence the race name of the Tums Quik Pak 500 at Martinsville Speedway.

Now Martinsville is a short-track, the "paper clip" of NASCAR.  The track is rich in tradition, from its famous Martinsville hot dogs to its grandfather clock trophy.

But the track is also famous for upset stomachs and indigestion due to short tempers, beating and banging, and just not enough real estate to go around.  So, the race sponsor for the Martinsville weekend is indeed most fitting.

The product also fits the track.  The new Tums Quik Pak is an instant dissolve powder, a new product for quicker relief.

The directions are as follows:

·           Tear open one packet

·           Do not tilt head

·           Pour powder onto tongue (not toward back of throat)

·           Close mouth

·           Allow powder to dissolve

·           Do not take more than seven packets in 24 hours

This product sounds just great, especially for anyone at the track who may just get that sour stomach due to upset and indigestion.  Even the drivers could pop these packets into their mouths during a caution and be good to go.

The Tums Quik Pak really got me to thinking who indeed will be most in need of this wonder drug during the race.  Keeping in mind that the maximum is seven packs, here are my "picks" for who will need the "Paks":

1.  Jimmie Johnson (1 Pak)

Since qualifying was rained out, Jimmie is sitting pretty on the pole.  He also gets the best pit stall selection, which is absolutely critical at Martinsville.  

Jimmie has the best record at the track with an average finish of 6.2.  But Jeff Burton and the other chasers will be close on his tail, so he will need just one little pak. 

2.   Jeff Burton (1 Pak)

Jeff will start in the second position thanks to the rain.  And he is indeed thankful, as qualifying at Martinsville has NOT been his strong suit.   His average finish is 12.6, so he has had his share of episodes at this short track.  He will need at least one little Tums pick-me-up for this race Sunday.

3.   Greg Biffle (3 Paks)

Although Greg will start off third by virtue of the points, Martinsville has not been one of Greg's best tracks.  His average finish is actually the worst of all of the chasers at 24.  Three Paks for this chase driver should do it.

4.   Carl Edwards (7 Paks: Maximum Dosage)

While Carl starts fourth due to the rain washing out qualifying, just take a guess who is right behind him on the starting grid?  None other than his most favorite driver and receiver of his "note" and chokehold, Kevin Harvick.  Maximum dosages may have to be exceeded in this case.

5.   Clint Bowyer (3 Paks)

Clint, as did Jeff Burton, lucked out with the rain, as he does not qualify well at this track.  And he only has a 16.3 place average finish at Martinsville.  Expect some acid indigestion with this driver and the need to down quite a few Tums Quik Paks.

6.   Kevin Harvick (7 Paks: Maximum Dosage)

See Carl Edwards.

7.   Tony Stewart (1 Pak)

Tony does well at Martinsville, with an average finish of 12.3.  He will need one Quik Pak to work his way up to the front of the field.

8.   Jeff Gordon (2 Paks)

Next to Jimmie Johnson, Martinsville is one of Jeff's best tracks, with an average finish of 6.7.  Jeff really lost out on the qualifying rainout, as he often takes the pole at this track.

So, he will need a few Tums to work his way up or to deal with the risky strategy he will need to play to get ahead.

9.  Kyle Busch (6 Paks)

Martinsville is also famous for paybacks, and it's been a really long season of Kyle getting into many different driver's paths.  So, he may have a few acid outbreaks during this Martinsville foray.  Get ready to pop ‘em, Shrubber.

10.  Dale Earnhardt Jr. (4 Paks)

With the way his luck has been, Dale Jr. needs to take a few Quik Paks to deal with the acid indigestion from the past race weekend.  So, he will need at least two paks before the race and then a few during, as he tries to race his way to the front and back up in the Chase.

11.  Matt Kenseth (3 Paks)

Matt just does not have much to lose and can let it all hang out.  He is pretty good at Martinsville, with an average 15.7 finish.

Chances are good, however, that he will find a bumper or two along the way, so three Paks for you, Matt.

12.  Denny Hamlin (3 Paks)

While Denny has a better average finish than Matt, with an 11.2 average, he is in the same boat as Matt in having to work his way up.   

Plus Denny's stomach is still churning over that hard hit into the wall he took.  He will need a few paks to make it through this one.

Derrike Cope and Sterling Marlin both need maximum doses of the Tums Quik Pak, as they did not even have the chance to get in on time due to the bad weather. 

Scott Speed, making his Sprint Cup debut, may need a few Tums paks.  His stomach is surely a little upset still from his ARCA championship loss, after being punted by Ricky Stenhouse Jr. 

Scott may also need a pak or so during the race, but he can just mix it with his Red Bull and propel himself right up to the front. 

Knowing Scott, he will also have a few paks at hand that he can throw out the window at the other drivers, who may be a bit upset with him as he "speeds" along.

We can only hope that Tums is present at the track tomorrow, handing out their Quik Paks to the fans.  They will most certainly need them after a day (and night) of rain and more rain.

So, thank you to Tums for one of the most appropriate sponsorships in the NASCAR season.  I know I'll have my Tums ready for this weekend's race!