The Sad-Sack Seven: The NFL's Worst, Week Six

California sunlight, sweet Calcutta rain
Honolulu starbright—the song remains the same. ooh! ooh!
Here we go!

As Robert Plant sang, the song remains the same for the NFL's worst. Sadly, sometimes the sad song remains the same for decades

1] St Louis Rams [0-4]

New head man Jolly Jim Haslett expects to have the same success with the Lams as he did in New Orleans with the Ain'ts. Break out the brown bags.

2] Detroit Linos [0-4]

Matt Millen is gone but the Lions' sad song remains the same as it has since Bobby Layne. Making Kyle Orton look like Joe Montana merits special mention, even in the pathetic history of the Motor City meows.

3] Cincinnati Bengals [0-5]

Close but no seegar gets one nothing in the Sad-Sack Seven rankings. The Bungles remain the Bungles.

4] Houston Texans [0-4]  

Sage it ain't so. "The Spectacular Sage Show" is a one-man wrecking crew that can pluck defeat from the jaws of victory.

5] Oakland Raiders [1-3]

Al Davis, when he not jamming to his NY look-alike Phil Spector's Wall of Sound, is Paul Simon's Still Crazy After All These Years. 

Raider rumor is that he forces all the secretaries and old Raiders on his staff to serenade him.

I fear Ill do some damage
One fine day
But I would not be convicted
By a jury of my peers
Still crazy after all these years
Oh, still crazy
Still crazy
Still crazy after all these years

6] Cleveland Browns [1-3]

Well, Romeo can hang his hat on beating the Bungles at least.

7] Kansas City Chiefs [1-4]

What, ye though the Chiefs turned the corner? Turned the corner onto a onrushing freight train. Fear not Chief faithful, the Brodie Croyle cavalry gallops to the rescue.