The Fifth Down: The Best, The Worst, and the Biggest Suprises

The Worst... (as of Week Five)

Four teams going into Week Six of the season have yet to scratch anything other than a zero. These teams are first-up candidates for the worst teams as of Week Six.

Houston Texans (0-4) - With Week Six upon us, Houston is making its traditional bomb to the bottom of the AFC South. Although they've yet to put a win on the board, this team has all the play makers in Andre Johnson and recent rookie standout Steve Slaton. I'd say its a pretty honest guess that this team has a shot at a .500 record. With two of their next three upcoming games against other no-win teams such as the Detroit Lions and Cincinnati Bengals and with a mediocre team in the Miami Dolphins this upcoming week, Houston could quite easily find themselves as .500 in as little as four weeks...then again...this is the Houston Texans.

St. Louis Rams (0-4) - Former coach Scott Linehan should have gotten the memo that Rams former backup QB Gus Frerotte got this past offseason and gotten out of Dodge. With the that distraction out of the way, the Rams can finally start playing football by focusing on their three upcoming opponents in the Washington Redskins, Dallas Cowboys, and New England Patriots, which have a combined record of 11-3. Not the best time to wake up and play football. (Probably best to just hit the snooze button for three weeks until they face Arizona...) But this team has miles to go to just be mentally ready to take on this season (another way to spend the upcoming three weeks). The passing game is joke, Steven Jackson's pride and leadership is in doubt as his holdout hurt the morale of this team. Orlando Pace is out for the year, and did we mention the new coaching staff is having a grand ol' time trying to keep this team in uniform? This team has top candidacy for 0-16 for the year...although stranger things have happened.

Cincinnati Bengals (0-5)- It only looks bad, but when you're the only team with a five games played, five games lost, you feel like the worst team. Is it too much to say that Marvin Lewis is the luckiest coach come Week Six considering Oakland and St. Louis? This team has hand over fist of talent, even with Carson Palmer out. (Although that does hurt your chances.) Chad Johnson is third in yards as a wideout for the Bengals. Unless you hadn't heard, he's their WR1. He should be at about 400-500 yards or so coming into this point of the season, maybe as low as 300. The fact is he's at 159 yards on 14 receptions with one touchdown. T.J. Houshmandzadeh is WR2 and has 351 yards on 31 receptions and three touchdowns. Both are being considered as trade bait coming into the deadline. T.J. and Chad are bound for good fortune if they get on a team that is lacking depth in their receiving corp. This could only spell more disaster for this team though if they do get rid of the talent that has grown on their roster. Take into account as well, that this team had one score games in three of their five losses (including a loss, 26-24 to the Super Bowl reigning champion New York Giants). I see Cincinnati breaking through with potential to possibly fight for a .500 record, especially after their bye week at Week 10 if they can find their groove relatively soon.

Detroit Lions (0-4)- Let's just say that, when you get rid of a coach, that's distracting, but when you're GM gets canned, you start wondering if this team could ever win a game again. The Lions are playing in a soft division with the Green Bay Packers and Minnesota Vikings falling short of expectations. I can see them getting a few wins, but they'll be a surprise to be sure if they get a win outside the confines of the NFC North and most likely at home at Ford Field. WR Roy Williams, DE Dewayne White, CB Brain Kelly, and DT Cory Redding face the possibility of being jettisoned via trade deadline. Not to mention Rod Marinelli's job security as coach. The only reason he's still attached to this squad is because there isn't a replacement coach ready to take on such a feat. Expect this team to find a win or two. They could find 0-16, but something tells me they'll find a way to pull at least one off.

Other teams to consider as among the few, the disgraceful, the humiliated...

Oakland Raiders (1-3) - Hard to consider these guys among the worst when they have a win on their record, right? Well, when Lane Kiffin left the team as he did, it was quite clear that this team is headed for nothing but the bottom. They have a sophomore quarterback in JaMarcus Russell. They're running game is progressing but hasn't solidified who has the job, and of course, not to mention the air game that hasn't seemed this quiet over Oakland since Sept. 12, 2001. (No offense to those in regards to 9/11) But taking terrorism off the docket, this team is bound to fall to the role of an AFC bottom-feeder.

Kansas City Chiefs (1-4) - Their one win this season can be related to sheer dumb luck; otherwise, this team is bound to contend with the Raiders for the lowest record in the AFC West. The Chiefs will limp into their bye week after a 34-0 shutout against the Carolina Panthers. They'll need the bye; they head into Week Seven on Oct. 19 at Arrowhead against the currently undefeated Tennessee Titans.

Dallas Cowboys (4-1) - I may be considered nuts, considering...
+The Cowboys are 4-1
+The Cowboys are one-half game out in the NFC East
+The Cowboys are a Super Bowl favorite
+The Cowboys are "America's Team"

My reasons for saying they are amongst the worst?
-The Cowboys lone loss is against a division foe, the Washington Redskins, in Dallas, 26-24.
-Are breaking down from the inside based on their expectations for Super Bowl glory.
-Their star receiver, Terrell Owens, is being a baby about not getting the ball enough, even though he's involved in one-third of their plays.
-In regards to the previous statement, their star receiver is reported to be...CRYING on the sideline?!

Ok, so on paper they have the best team, but seriously...is this what kind of team we want as a Super Bowl Champion?

The Best...(As of Week Five)

Many teams could qualify as the big and the bad...but without teams like Indy or the Pats dominating the NFL, who is to look out for? The undefeated went from as many as 16 teams after Week One down to just two after Week Five.

New York Giants (4-0) - After their 2007 Super Bowl upset against the Patriots, you were expecting someone else? Even without Plaxico Burress, the team's leading receiver, the Giants held onto their undefeated record. With how they've been playing, expect these guys to be playoff bound and possibly getting a bye in the first round.

Tennessee Titans (5-0) - Although this team has the most wins in the NFL right now, don't expect them to stay that way. Sure, these guys have proven themselves a winning team and most likely, a playoff team, but I find it hard to see Kerry Collins lead this team to a Super Bowl. They're in a poor division, which should guarantee them a spot in the playoffs.

There are other mentionable teams these days, but its hard to say who classifies as an underrated team and simply an unfortunate case of the slow starts, but the following could have a case.

Washington Redskins (4-1) - What with quarterback Jason Campbell eclipsing the 1,000-yard mark already, Clinton Portis being second in the NFC is yards gained, and Santana Moss successfully stretching secondaries; this team is bound for playoff football. Their victory over the Cowboys in Dallas proves they can go on the road against division rivals and play good football.

Surprise, Surprise! (As of Week Five)

(SELL) New England Patriots (3-1) - A Brady-less Pats team is fighting to be a contender this year. Don't be fooled by their 3-1 record, this team will be second place in the AFC East at best.

(BUY) Buffalo Bills (4-1) - Although this team lost horribly last Sunday to Arizona 41-17, this team is one that is unknown and has that underdog edge. Best to ride the lightning.

(SELL) San Diego Chargers (2-3) - This team is in shambles. After having big-time player LaDainian Tomlinson fall short as the season started, the Chargers are losing to teams like the...Miami Dolphins?! This is an early sign for ABORT, ABORT!