Don Frye and 10 MMA Fighters You'd Want on Your Side in a Bar Fight

We've all been there.  Almost time for last call. Some of the party is already spilling onto the sidewalk.

There's a strange, restless energy in the air. All you need is a spark.

And then it happens. Someone looks at someone else the wrong way. A glass tips over. Someone trips. A girl gets between two guys. And we're off to the races.

What's more American than a good, old-fashioned bar fight? Who said the Wild West is dead? Just mosey down to your corner dive saloon, belly up, wait awhile and hope the shrapnel doesn't get you.

Perhaps you've been drawn into a pub brawl of your own. If so, you know what sloppy and reckless affairs they can be. If you've ever found yourself wondering who has your back—or who you would like to have your back—here it is, 10 MMA fighters who I would most want on my side in a bar fight.

One ground rule: the fighter has to give the impression that he knows what the inside of a bar (and the bottom of a mug) actually looks like. Perhaps they've even tried their hand at pub brawling once or twice.

A bar fight is different than a cage fight, and the skills required for each don't necessarily constitute a 1:1 translation.  In other words, you can't just pick Anderson Silva 10 times. No fun in that.

In any event, on with the list...and please enjoy.

10. Josh Burkman

Give it up for "The People's Warrior". He might not be the best fighter on this list, but he might have the honor of being the most likely to start a bar brawl.

He got into it with fellow fighter Phil Baroni back in 2007, though from Burkman's account, it seemed Baroni started the ish, but Burkman finished it. If you like "Jersey Shore", you should click that link.

But the New York Bad Ass wasn't Burkman's first alcohol-fueled altercation. Burkman and Jeremy Horn had it out in a bar (warning: profane language in the link) before they had it out in the cage; after the latter, the normally mild-mannered Horn spit on Burkman, a fairly strong indicator that the bad feelings weren't left in the VIP section.

9. Renato "Babalu" Sobral

He doesn't have any particular reputation for bar fighting (that I'm aware of). But look at the guy. Doesn't Babalu look like he would be an absolute demon in a bar fight? I'll tell you; if this guy starts walking toward me and it's anywhere near last call, I'm running like a nancy boy. That's just real talk.

8. Kimbo Slice

All he had was a bar fight, a dream and a beard. Three years later, he was rich and famous.

If you disagree with his place here, close your eyes and imagine Kimbo Slice (or, depending on your proclivities, two Kimbo Slices) cutting a path toward you from across a crowded dance floor. It's just...it's not a pretty picture.

7. Frank Mir

Before he hit it big on the fighting circuit, Mir helped make ends meet as a bouncer in front of the famed Spearmint Rhino gentleman's club in Las Vegas. If that doesn't give you a little bit of street seasoning, I don't know what will.

6. Roger Huerta

When Huerta saw a man hitting a woman outside an Austin club last summer, he decided to take matters into his own hands.

Once the cameras caught up, Huerta was nowhere to be found. The other guy was...he was the one lying in a bloody heap in the street.

But the best part might have been Huerta's post-fight quote: "I got the better of him, and I left."

Now that's strategery.

5. Don Frye

The man. The myth. The mustache.

Frye is kind of the best of both worlds. He seems like the kind of guy who would save (or break) your neck, then buy you a beer afterward.

In this video, however, unfortunately, it didn't get to that stage. This is in 2007, and Frye is fighting with (and losing to) some other fighter's bodyguard after an argument broke out over payments following a cancelled event.

Even though he doesn't come out on top here, something tells me that's the exception to the rule.

4. Brock Lesnar

Either that is one large man, or one tiny beer.

I don't actually have to explain this one, do I?  The guy has a sword tattooed on his chest.

He gets knocked down a few pegs, though, for that whole doesn't-like-to-get-hit thing.

3. Tank Abbott

Michael Jordan was born to play basketball.

Vincent Van Gogh was born to paint.

Tank Abbott was born to bar fight.

2. Chuck Liddell

Liddell's love of the nightlife has allegedly flagged in recent months, but in his partying days, he was known as someone who liked his drinks cold and his clubs hot.

No question about it: The Iceman knows how to chill. He seems so laid back outside the cage that it might be difficult to goad him into a bar fight. But if you ever see someone who is determined and/or obnoxious enough to do it, just make sure you have your camera phone out. And some plastic sheeting. 

And to answer your question preemptively: Why, yes, that is Kevin Federline.

1. Bas Rutten

He actually made a video called "How to Win Bar Fights". And this isn't the only one. In fact, Rutten seems to be making a cottage industry out of this.

Going back to his bouncing days in Holland, something about Rutten apparently just asks for trouble, despite his jovial personality. It seems there's always someone out there who wants to measure himself against the big dog. Or maybe Holland is just rife with hammered soccer hooligans. Either way.

Just for fun, here are a few of his better stories in his own words. But if you want to watch them, you're gonna have to take 'em outside. You don't have to go home, but you got to get up out of here.