Tucker Carlson's Michael Vick Comments: Who Is This Fast-Talking Clown?

Tom EdringtonSenior Writer IDecember 30, 2010

Michael Vick was the victim of Tucker Swason's mumbly mouth.
Michael Vick was the victim of Tucker Swason's mumbly mouth.Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

Tucker Carlson says he's a Christian and told us he makes mistakes and boy did he come up with a whopper Tuesday night.

I heard he said something about "Michael Vick's execution" and thought he might just be some irate Philly fan who wasn't particularly happy about Michael's play against Minnesota the other night. But found out he was on some FOX television blab show, you know, one of those formats where folks love to say whatever strikes them at the moment.

Came to find out that Tucker Swanson McNair Carlson said something about Michael Vick being put to death for his involvement in that Virginia dog fighting operation.


"Now I'm a Christian, I make mistakes myself and I believe fervently in second chances. But Michael Vick killed dogs and he did it in a heartless and cruel way and I think personally he should have been executed for that. He wasn't, but the idea that the President of the United States would be getting behind someone who murdered dogs?"

What comes to mind immediately is where is former tennis star John McEnroe? We need him to simply scream at his Tuckerness:  "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!"

Video Play Button
Videos you might like

Unfortunately, Tucker Swanson McNair Carlson appeared to be totally serious about this.

Which begs the question: Who is this goob?

Come to find out that ole Tucker grew up a really, really rich kid. His mother is the heiress to the Swanson Food conglomerate, hence one of the rich-kid middle names. He got shipped off to the hoity-toity St. George's boarding school in Newport, R.I. as a youth and perhaps that explains some of this. He majored in history at some tiny rich kid's school in Hartford, Connecticut—Trinity College.

His dad was a news anchor and was a U.S. Ambassador to the Seychelles. Yeah, daddy was a fat cat.

Tucker The Terror's great uncle was Sen. J. William Fulbright.

That should suffice here: Tuck The Terrible is one rich bellowing pile of poop, for sure.

Intelligent folks everywhere should be scratching their heads over this one. This guy actually wanted Michael Vick hung by the heck until dead? Tucker wanted Mike fried in the electric chair? Tucker wanted Mike standing in front of a firing squad?

Well, the fact is this wonderful country of ours preserves and protects Tucker's inalienable right to make a complete and total idiot out of himself on national television.

Take it from someone who spent growing-up years on military bases, our men and women in the service are giving their blood and lives so that wealthy buffoons like Tucker-boy can go on networks like FOX and say whatever the heck they want.

I've got to hand it to this child of privilege, he sure knows how to get attention. And that's often what incredibly stupid statements like this are all about.

Controversy is good. Controversy sells. Nothing like a big swig of good old-fashioned controversy. It's like a frosty cold beer on a steamy-hot afternoon.

It's also a shame that Tucker Swanson McNair The Moron doesn't have a better grasp of the criminal justice system here in the good old U.S. of A.

Yes, Michael Vick did something that was darn despicable. But you know what, the guy admitted it, he paid the price and served his time. What Tucker Swanson The Stupid is missing is the fact that we Americans DO believe in second chances and what a crock of crap it is for this guy to come up with his own version of what justice should be.

Yes, say hello to Tucker Swanson McNair Carlson.

Welcome Tucker, to that wonderful world of guys who don't know better, or worse, simply don't care.

slash iconYour sports. Delivered.

Enjoy our content? Join our newsletter to get the latest in sports news delivered straight to your inbox!