NBA Rumors: Top 10 Things Donald Sterling Is Probably Saying to Baron Davis

It's the American Dream.

Grow up in Los Angeles, the son of two hard-working immigrant parents. Due to intelligence, charisma and drive, become president of your high school class, graduate from college and then earn a law degree. Make millions of dollars as an ambitious and enterprising real estate mogul, buy a professional basketball team and then obnoxiously heckle its highest-paid player from courtside seats.

Wait, rewind that last bit... obnoxiously heckle your highest-paid player from courtside seats?

This is Donald T. Sterling's American Dream after all.

The miserly Los Angeles Clippers owner has taken employer-employee relations to a whole new level. Infamously parsimonious with his financial resources, Sterling has recently become rather generous with his verbal taunts and point guard Baron Davis has been on the receiving end of Scrooge's wrath.

Sterling has been quoted as saying the following:

• "Why are you in the game?"
• "Why did you take that shot?"
• "You're out of shape!"

Not exactly the harshest material—he's about as productive a trash-talker as he is an owner—but Sterling gets right to the point.

Let's be honest here: Davis probably deserves Sterling's insults more than he does Sterling's $13 million. Baron has never lived up to his fat contract and former superstar status, this season arriving at training camp notoriously out of shape.

But there's more to this story than has been previously reported. An insider source, speaking on condition of anonymity, has revealed that Sterling is possibly saying other potentially provocative things to Davis.

Without further ado, here they are:

"Do You Need the Number of My Barber?"

Harry How/Getty Images

LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 01: Baron Davis #5 of the Los Angeles Clippers celebrates his pass for a score against the the San Antonio Spurs at the Staples Center on December 1, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges a

Baron Davis' time in Los Angeles has not been a complete disaster. In fact, there is one specific area in which Davis has utterly thrived: beard-growing. He is definitely worthy of a spot on the All-NBA Facial Hair Team.

Although looking homeless may have its advantages, it's not really useful when you are supposed to be the face of a franchise. The immaculately-groomed Sterling can't be happy with this development in Davis' game and probably wants to escort him immediately to a barber.

Plus, won't losing the beard make Davis more aerodynamic?

"What's Your Favorite Restaurant?"

http://articles.latimes.com/2010/dec/14/sports/la-sp-plaschke-20101215

Donald Sterling enjoys the finer things in life. He appreciates relaxing massages, penthouse suites, multiple women and juicy steaks.

Baron Davis clearly agrees about the meat. Showing up to training camp significantly overweight, he evidently spent this past summer gorging himself rather than working out. From the effort he obviously put into rounding out his figure, he must know some extraordinary restaurants.

If Sterling can't get a solid game from Davis, he might as well obtain a dinner recommendation.

"Can You Make a Movie About Me?"

http://www.theplayinca.com/2009/02/baron-davis-barks-back.html

Fun fact about Baron Davis: he's a member of the Screen Actor's Guild.

Davis has always been interested in the film industry and recently started a production company called Verso Entertainment. His first project was a documentary about Los Angeles gang conflict titled, "Made in America."

Perhaps Sterling could be the focus of "Made in America 2," a story about Los Angeles basketball strife.

"Wanna Bet Your Salary on a Game Of HORSE?"

http://nba-point-forward.si.com/2010/12/

A $13 million game of HORSE, the fabulously wealthy owner playing for bragging rights, the beleaguered player fighting for a retirement pension.

Wouldn't that be supremely fascinating? Some Las Vegas casino would definitely sponsor the pay-per-view event.

For those that think it would be a blowout, keep in mind that Davis is shooting a career worst 36 percent from the field and 21 percent from three-point range. With some behind the backboard, eyes-closed, granny-style magic, Sterling could pull the upset.

"Should We Co-Star on a TV Reality Show?"

http://blog.pennlive.com/fanbox/2010/12/clippers_owner_vocal_about_dis.html

Nowadays, everyone wants to be a reality television star. The relationship between Sterling and Davis might be volatile enough to warrant 24/7 camera coverage.

I see it now: "The Robber and his Baron."

They could go on double dates. They could have a mixed-martial arts match. Maybe Sterling could even put Davis through wind sprints.

"Do You Prefer China Or Turkey?"

Chris Trotman/Getty Images

NEW YORK - OCTOBER 31: Stephon Marbury watches the New York Knicks against the Philadelphia 76ers at Madison Square Garden on October 31, 2009 in New York, New York. The 76ers defeated the Knicks 141-127. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agr

Remember Stephon Marbury and Allen Iverson, those two former all-star point guards who just couldn't get along with management?

Where are they now? That's right, China and Turkey, respectively.

For various behavioral reasons, Starbury and the Answer have been essentially blacklisted from the NBA. They are both trying to resurrect their images and careers in foreign countries boasting very mediocre professional leagues.

Baron Davis could be headed down a similar path.

"I Was Just Watching a Youtube Video Of Your Dunk on Andrei Kirilenko

"and I'm wondering, WHERE DID THAT GUY GO?"

Sterling's face growing puffier and redder.

"C'mon! I want B Diddy! I want you to posterize someone in my building so fans will actually come to the games!"

Guy in the seat next to Donald leans over and whispers in Sterling's ear.

"Oh, wait, never mind. Blake Griffin is serving up facials every night and fans in LA are actually excited about my team, so don't worry about it."

"Switch Your Jersey Number! You Don't Deserve #1!"

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/commentary/news/story?id=5922530

Rumor has it that Sterling is furious with Davis donning jersey No. 1, which he believes ought to be reserved for a player making a positive impact on the team.

In a recent e-mail from Sterling to Davis, the owner reportedly proposed several more apt numbers.

Seven for the deadly sins, 13 for the amount (in millions) that Sterling is wasting on Davis this season and 260 for Davis' highest alleged weight this offseason.

"How Do You Sleep at Night?"

http://blog.pennlive.com/fanbox/2010/12/clippers_owner_vocal_about_dis.html

This isn't an impassioned cry for Davis to undertake some introspection. Sterling's just trying to shoot the breeze with another rich, selfish, public enemy.

Sterling is a Xanax and whiskey man himself; he's just curious if Baron prefers Tylenol PM.

Davis might as well be sleeping on the court the way he's performing.

"What Team Would You Really Like To Play For?"

Harry How/Getty Images

LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 01: Baron Davis #5 of the Los Angeles Clippers dribbles up court against the San Antonio Spurs at the Staples Center on December 1, 2010 in Los Angeles, California. NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, b

Baron Davis trade rumors have swirled for months. If the mercurial talent publicly announced which team he would really like to play for, then perhaps the Clippers could construct a deal.

You don't think any team would welcome Baron? Didn't the Magic just trade for Gilbert Arenas?

Let's say Davis makes the following statement: "The team I really want to play for is the Atlanta Hawks. If I go there, I will play my butt off to prove all the haters wrong and try to bring the franchise a title. Los Angeles isn't the place for me, but if I get traded to Atlanta, they will not be sorry."

Bold words, but wouldn't that pique the Hawks' interest just a little?