Cincinnati Bengals Welcome New Player Chad Ocho-Cinco

The Cincinnati Bengals will have a new player on the field Sunday.

Chad Johnson has been replaced with Chad Ocho-Cinco.

Of course we all know it will be the same Chad "Trash Talking", "I wanna be traded", "I wont play for the Bengal's", "I will not attend any Bengal's functions,mandatory or voluntary", "I never said i was actually giving away that Lexus", "Those free trips to Hawaii and Europe were just for fun", "Marvin Lewis copied my list idea", "They can't win a super bowl without me", they have not won a Super Bowl with me, Johnson 

Wow, if we really called him what he was, he would have to wear a bed sheet.

Of course, for Chad, he wouldn't even suit up if its under 600 thread count.

Ocho-Cinco, "8-5" in Spanish.

Lets run the numbers:

8 & 5: Only two times during the day Chad is committed to the Bengals.

85: Balls dropped this year.

8/5: Traded this many times in this many years.

85: Number of time's he will disrespect his team in the first game.

85: Amount in thousands it cost to have those gold teeth.

8-5: Vegas odd's he will never win a Super Bowl?

85: Times a day he cries "Why don't I get any respect"?

Every sport seem's to have a bad boy or boys.

T.O. has been the NFL's bad boy the past few years. Every week NASCAR's Tony Stewart or Kyle Busch make headlines. Of course those Bad Boy's from Detroit, and who could forget the infamous Back Street Boy's.  

I think Chad should make this a weekly event.

Take some of those millions, fly down to Florida every week, get a name change.

Heck, name change's might be the next hot product at Wal-Mart.

Lack of grey matter might make new idea's a little tough, so let me offer up a few suggestions.

"Fecal Impaction", just to stir up a little more crap now and then.

"Uno Super Bowl Por Favor", for those ten lonely fingers.

"Cerebral Demise", in honor of all the brain cell's that pour out each time you open your mouth.

"Ochenta-Cinco", Spanish for number eighty five.

Might wanna hold off on that celebratory tattoo.

Reporting from Rosetta Stone Headquarters, I am David Yeazell.

Photo credit: B/R Gallery