College Football's Worst Teams: Terrible Ten Beggars Banquet Bowl Week

Not every bowl can be an Iron Bowl.

Basement teams take what scraps they can steal, beg or borrow.

It's Beggars Bowl week.

It's great to have a clear-cut champion.

Even in a week filled with no expectations matchups.

If the Akron Zips get zapped, they will be the only Division I football squad to run the table in reverse.

The votes should be unanimous, but there is always one wise guy or some strange secretary sipping gin in the football office who throws in an odd vote.

But if Buffalo bungles the big game against Akron, the cry for a Terrible Ten playoff with San Jose State, the New Mexicos, Memphis, the Louie Louies and a wild card or three might be taken up across the land.

Not every bowl can be an Iron Bowl.

The bottom fish have to feed too.

Let's look at this jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore.

Terrible Ten Title Game

Buffalo Bulls [2-9] @ Akron Zips [0-11]

Akron has zipped this year, including a stellar loss to the always dangerous Gardner-Webb Running Bulldogs, and need one more loss to make it a dirty dozen.

Still, don't count out the Buffaloes to make a late run at the Terrible Ten title.

Misery in New Mexico Bowl Bonanza

TCU Horned Frogs [11-0] @ New Mexico Los Lobos [1-10]

Hawaii [8-3] @ New Mexico State Aggies [2-9]

The misery at New Mexico starts an hour later so, if ye be truly sadistic and have a spare Learjet, ye could make conceivably make both games.

Louie Louie Bowl

Louie Lafayette [2-9] @ Louie Monroe [5-6]

Louie Louie, oh no. Me gotta go. Aye-yi-yi-yi, I said. Louie Louie, oh baby. Me gotta go. Fine little girl waits for me.

The San Jose Spartan Slaughter Bowl

Louie Tech Bulldogs [4-6] @ San Jose State Spartans [1-10]

If these sad Spartans had been playing defense at Thermopylae, Europe would be speaking Persian from Greece to Norway.

Southern Gothic Basement Bowl

Wake Forest Demon Deacons [2-9] @ Vanderbilt Commodores [2-9]

The worst of the ACC and SEC meet to determine who is the most terrible team in the Old South.

This as a season lay dying matchup ends another season of horror for seemingly doomed football programs.

John Dillinger Shot Down Season Bowl

Indiana Hoosiers [4-7] @ Purdue Boilermakers [4-7] 

Dillinger's home hunting ground has produced a pair of dreadful teams playing out a shot season.

Somebody Win the Big East Bowl

West Virginia Mountaineers [7-3] @ Pittsburgh Panthers [6-4]

Which bowl will get the BCS Big East prize?

Memphis Blues Bowl

UCF Knights [8-3] @ Memphis Tigers [1-10]

The Tigers' blue season can't end soon enough.

Ohhh Momma can this really be the end to be stuck inside of Mobile with the Memphis Blues again.