Abracadabra Holmes: Miami Heat in Need of Some Serious Anti-Curse Magic

"I don't practice Santeria and I ain't got no crystal ball", but the Miami Heat need a Voodoo priest or witch doctor in a major way.

Dwyane Wade is out yet again, Udonis Haslem was carried off the court on what appeared to be soft contact and Eric Spoelstra was making horrible substitutions in the last quarter. As if that wasn't enough, Rudy Gay hit a buzzer beater over LeBron James to hand the Heat a gut-wrenching 97-95 loss.

The icing was the stupid staredown Gay gave the Heat bench after nailing the winner. Someone on the Heat bench (Jamaal Magloire) should have grabbed Gay by the neck and walked him back to his coach, while reminding Gay that he's on a losing team and has yet to win anything in the league.

Yes, it was a perfect "sh*t" storm unleashing itself on the Heat.

In reality Miami should feel fortunate to be sneaking out of Dodge without sustaining further damage, as both James and Chris Bosh seemed to be taking and delivering a lot of contact in what was a very hard-fought game.

At one point James suffered a hard fall, and for a moment things seemed like they were going to get really scary. Luckily James bounced back up and ran down the court, allowing Heat fans everywhere to breathe a little bit easier.

Could Dan Gilbert's "Curse" be starting before our very eyes? He does have that look that he may have come from Gypsies.

Great we’ve been “Gypsy Cursed.”

“Don’t you put that evil on us Dan Gilbert, don’t you put that on us.”

Does anyone know if Cuban Santeria or Haitian Voodoo trumps Gypsy curses? Is it like a paper, scissor, rock thing? If so, Miami could be in luck, as plenty of Heat fans probably practice the "dark magic" around these parts.

Come on South Florida, start cracking some coconuts and chopping off some chicken heads. We need to "exorcise the demons" before the curse sets in for good. Instead of the "Mistake by the Lake," we would be known as the "Disarray on the Bay."

We can't let that happen, so it looks like it's time to pour "Jobu" a refill and ask that he remove this curse before Christmas Day.