BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Other Athlete Names That Are Way Too Long

BenJarvus Green-Ellis is a running back for the New England Patriots. That is all fine and good. But what is getting to me as a sports writer is his name. It is just too long for my liking. I like simple names. Cut to the chase names like John Wall are what I am looking for. 

I mean who does he think he is giving me essentially four names to write down when referring to him. This got me thinking about the other athletes with gigantic monikers. Here is a list of the nauseatingly long named. 

15. BenJarvus Green-Ellis

Jim Rogash/Getty Images

FOXBORO, MA - OCTOBER 31: (ALTERNATE CROP) BenJarvus Green-Ellis #42 of the New England Patriots scores a touchdown the third quarter against the Minnesota Vikings at Gillette Stadium on October 31, 2010 in Foxboro, Massachusetts. (Photo by Jim Rogash/Ge

BenJarvus Green-Ellis is putting together a solid year for the Pats. He has close to 400 yards rushing with six touchdowns. Now if we can just agree to call him Ben, I will be thrilled. 

14. Max Opamuratawongse

Max Opamuratawongse is a senior wide receiver for the Wake Forrest Demon Deacons. I am just glad his parents went with a short last name. They could have done a lot worse than Max. 

13. William Van Landingham

Harry How/Getty Images

5 Jun 1997: Pitcher William Van Landingham of the San Francisco Giants throws the ball during a game against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, California. Mandatory Credit: Harry How /Allsport

William Van Landingham was a former pitcher for the San Francisco Giants. Van Landingham used to own the only claim for the longest name in the majors. Then came Jarrod Saltalamacchia to ruin it for him. 

12. Jarrod Scott Saltalamacchia

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ARLINGTON, TX - APRIL 05: Catcher Jarrod Saltalamacchia #21 of the Texas Rangers steps up to the plate against the Toronto Blue Jays on Opening Day at Rangers Ballpark on April 5, 2010 in Arlington, Texas. (Photo by Tom Pennington/Getty Images)

"Salt" was traded by the Rangers to the Red Sox towards the end of last year. He immediately went to the minors. At least he has a cool nickname. 

11. Jan Venegoor Of Hesselink

This striker played for Hull City last year in the English Premier League. He now plays for Rapid Vienna.

I like the thought of having an "of" in the middle of your name. It let's people know more about you.

I would be Gabriel of West Covina. It would then just be a hop skip and a jump to Gabriel of West Covina who struck down a bowl of chilli whilst watching  a spirited match on the tele. 

10. Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie

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GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 10: Cornerback Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie #29 of the Arizona Cardinals during the NFL game against the New Orleans Saints at the University of Phoenix Stadium on October 10, 2010 in Glendale, Arizona. The Cardinals defeated the Sa

Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie is a corner back for the Arizona Cardinals. It's a fairly easy job. You just look at receivers and tight ends as they pass right by you. 

He is sort of like the ticket taker at the movie theaters, just with a long name. 

9. Todd Matthew Van Poppel

Matthew Stockman/Getty Images

CINCINNATI, OH - JUNE 17: Starting pitcher Todd Van Poppel #45 of the Cincinnati Reds throws against the Texas Rangers June 17, 2004 at the Great American Ball Park in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Matthew Stockman/Getty Images)

Todd Matthew Van Poppel, or Todd Van Poppel for short, is a former big league pitcher. He never reached his full potential. Unless of course his potential was to be a horrible pitcher, in that case all worked out famously. 

8. Benjamin Todd Roethlisberger

When Big Ben is not out on the prowl for barely legal women, he dabbles in being a quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. 

7. Touraj "Jeje" Houshmandzadeh, Jr.

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

PITTSBURGH - OCTOBER 03: T.J. Houshmandzadeh #84 of the Baltimore Ravens runs a route during the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on October 3, 2010 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

T.J. Houshmandzadeh is just exhausting to say. So broadcasters have relegated his name to just "Housh." 

I like that. I would like it more if I didn't draft him late in my fantasy draft. I wish I could have that pick back. 

6. Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala

Chris Fuamatu-Ma'afala is a former running back in the NFL. He last played for the Jaguars in 2004. Now sports writers can breath a sigh of relief that they no longer have to memorize the spelling of his name. 

5. Luc Richard Mbah a Moute

Luc Richard Mbah a Moute adds depth to a very good Milwaukee Bucks team. I just wish his parents would have stopped naming him at Luc. Luc Richard is really quite too much. 

4. Pierre-Luc Letourneau Leblond

Pierre-Luc Letourneau Leblond is a left winger in the minor league system of the New Jersey Red Devils. He was picked 216th overall in the 2005 draft. I'm guessing the other teams were just too lazy to pronounce his name. 

3. Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon

In 2007, Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon was told by a fortune teller that she needed to change her name if she wanted success at the olympics. Junpim Kuntatean heeded the advice and changed it to Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon. 

The change netted her a gold medal. The years of training might have played a small part as well. 

2. Dikembe Mutombo Mpolondo Mukamba Jean-Jacques

Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

HOUSTON - APRIL 29: Dikembe Mutombo #55 of the Houston Rockets grabs a rebound against the Utah Jazz in Game Five of the Western Conference Quarterfinals during the 2008 NBA Playoffs at the Toyota Center on April 29, 2008 in Houston, Texas. The Rockets

"Hey Dikembe! Can I get an autograph?"

Don't ever yell that. Next thing you know you are waiting thirty minutes as Mutombo tries to recall the paragraph that is his name. 

1. Babatunde Oluwasegun Temitope Oluwakorede Adisa Oshinowo, Jr.

NFL Photos/Getty Images

CHARLOTTE, NC - 2009: Babatunde Oshinowo of the Carolina Panthers poses for his 2009 NFL headshot at photo day in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by NFL Photos)

"Baba" played a bit for the 49ers last season. I tried to say his name ten times fast but fell asleep mid way through. 

I like that he is a junior. Just in case you mistook this Babatunde Oluwasegun Temitope Oluwakorede Adisa Oshinowo, for the senior.