Mt. Everest Climbers Get 3G Network; Too Late For Wedding Couple

If you plan to climb Mt. Everest, you can now bring your Blackberry along.

Can't believe your frozen ears or goggled eyes? Well, believe it! You can bring your IPhone, your Droid, your Palm, whatever. And you may play with them or check your stocks at 17,500 feet above sea level.

Who brings us this exciting news? Ncell.

The Nepali telephone company, Ncell, erected a tower at the base camp (halfway up Big Ev) so now, when you're climbing Everest, you can stop and play "Everquest"—a video game about climbing Mt. Everest. 

Never mind that only a third of the people of Nepal have cell service; you climbers will be packing. The Nepali reasoning: as the mountain goes, the rest follows. 

The cell phone on Everest comes too late for a pair of my favorite athletes, the mountain climbing couple who got married at the peak, the first to do so. Here's their story:

“WE SPIT ON THE MILE HIGH CLUB”


Two Nepalese mountain climbers were married atop Mt. Everest.

Don’t know, Moni Mulepati and Pem Dorjee, but we think it’s all downhill from here.

You’re cool, Katmandu cool, if you don’t mind us saying so. As cool as your red forehead-dots turning blue, that’s how cool you are. Bless your little frost-bitten noses.

Too bad the champagne wouldn’t pop—Cold Duck is what we heard—because in that thin air, corks can really fly. Wouldn’t it be ironic if the cork from the Cold Duck flew down the hill and knocked a duck cold?

Okay, maybe that’s just us.

The 29,035 Foot Knot Tiers, we’re going to call you.

As far as we know, you’re the marriage height record holders. How about the Himalayan Hookups? Do you like that? Merger on the Mountain? You need a hook. How about Mixed Marriage on a Mountain? We know she’s a Newar and you’re a Sherpa and you’re in an arrangement marriage country where locals like to cast dispersions.

And don’t let anybody tell you your little mountain climbing venture (oops, did we say little) didn’t come without excitement.

It’s not every day a MI-17 helicopter crash lands at your base camp as it’s coming up to sweep you away. We think it’s all those tin cans well-wishers tied to the chopper.

And rice? Not a good thing to throw in a helicopter engine. Luckily, neither the pilot nor anyone else was hurt. However, the pilot also pissed about the “Just Married” graffiti on his windshield, we were told.

We also understand your wedding singer didn’t make it all the way to the top. “The Hills are alive...” we love that. “With the sounds of cracking vocal chords…” “If I had a hammer, I’d climb myself a mountain, I’d marry me a Sherpa without getting first a ‘Sure Pa’…"

” We hate you had to miss that. We understand the view as you said ‘I do’ was breathtaking. We’re a little concerned about the stability of your Polaroid Swinger camera. But isn’t that flashbar neat?

And how about Mom and Dad thinking you were joshing them when you came down and told them you were married on a mountain and you’d like to use the honeymoon suite—their bed.

And they said "Okay, but it will be crowded". These are great stories you’ll have to tell your little mountain climbing grandchildren someday. “Where’d you and grand-dad get married, Nana?”

And you always point up…and then you pull out the pictures…and they always giggle at the one where your noses are rubbing each other…and then you explain you came down the mountain stuck that way. These are memories low-landers will never have.  

You’re off to a good start. You both love mountain climbing. That’s good in a marriage. You’re tethered to one another.

When you yell at your spouse, the echoes make it sound like a whole bunch of neighbors have joined you. You can both shop at the same boot store.

We’re still trying to find you a hook, something to turn heads when you walk into Mountain Climber’s Supply. How about the Matrimonial Mountaineers? Khumba Cohabs? The Piolet Pair? Mountie Mates? Young Yak Train Lovers? Rocky Roaders? You get that one?

Everyone else takes the highway, but you guys go up. You take the rocky road. In case you don’t know that’s a great ice cream, popular in warmer climates.

Okay, how about this: Top of the World Twosome? Can you live with that?  Yes?