NFL Frankenstein: Building the Perfect Player, Wide Receiver Edition

We're almost finished with the week of Dr. Frankenstein's creations and, even though it hasn't been as popular as I'd have liked, it has been fun to write, which is what matters.

Anyway, today we're moving on to the divas of the sport (or, more accurately, divos).

This monster will capture the speed, power and technique of all the greatest receivers in the league and put them together to make the ultimate player.

Brain: Andre Johnson

Larry French/Getty Images

LANDOVER, MD - SEPTEMBER 19: Andre Johnson #80 of the Houston Texans runs the ball against the Washington Redskins at FedExField on September 19, 2010 in Landover, Maryland. The Texans defeated the Redskins in overtime 30-27. (Photo by Larry French/Getty

Johnson has become one of the best receivers in the game, if not the best. He does everything right and can beat any coverage thrown his way. He's single-handedly made Matt Schaub into a quality starting quarterback in the league.

His route-running ability and mental capacity are what we're going to take from him. He does everything so well, you know his brain has to be superior to that of a regular human being....at least in terms of football.

With Johnson's brain powering our man, he will dominate any defensive back.

Mouth: Chad Ochocinco

Jamie Sabau/Getty Images

CINCINNATI, OH - OCTOBER 10: Chad Ochocinco #85 of the Cincinnati Bengals makes a reception against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Paul Brown Stadium on October 10, 2010 in Cincinnati, Ohio. (Photo by Jamie Sabau/Getty Images)

I don't even feel the need to explain this.

If you disagree with this pick, then you can just leave because the artist formerly known as Johnson is the funniest guy in the NFL.

At the very least, our monster will be fun to watch and provide us with a great twitter feed.

Heart: Hines Ward

Gregory Shamus/Getty Images

PITTSBURGH - OCTOBER 03: Hines Ward #86 of the Pittsburgh Steelers looks on during the game against the Baltimore Ravens on October 3, 2010 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. (Photo by Gregory Shamus/Getty Images)

Ward is the ultimate throwback player who always plays hard and gives you everything he has in every game.

He doesn't take plays off and blocks like a champion, plus he likes to lay out defenders from time to time. Some say he plays dirty, but I say he plays to win and that's what I want, a winner.

Our monster is going to be the ultimate worker when we insert Hines Ward's heart into his body.

Body: Calvin Johnson

Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

GREEN BAY, WI - OCTOBER 03: Calvin Johnson #81 of the Detroit Lions runs toward the end zone against the Green Bay Packers at Lambeau Field on October 3, 2010 in Green Bay, Wisconsin. The Packers defeated the Lions 28-26. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty I

Megatron stands tall at 6'4" and weighs in at 236 pounds of muscle.

This guy is like Randy Moss's evil twin brother. Both of those guys are just athletic freaks who don't come around very often, and I had to use one of them. Since Johnson is younger and a smidge taller, he gets the nod here.

Johnson gives our monster the huge frame he'll need for jump balls in the red zone.

Arms: Terrell Owens

Matt Sullivan/Getty Images

CLEVELAND - OCTOBER 03: Wide receiver Terrell Owens #81 of the Cincinnati Bengals runs by Sheldon Brown #24 of the Cleveland Browns at Cleveland Browns Stadium on October 3, 2010 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by Matt Sullivan/Getty Images)

Even as he gets up there in years, TO has done a great job of taking care of his body.

That has manifested in a very impressive physique, especially in his arms. Not only does this get him the ladies, but it also has a practical use. Owens has made a career on getting yards after the catch and probably has the most effective stiff-arm among wide receivers.

With these arms, our monster will be able to plant cornerbacks on their rear ends and shrug off any would-be tacklers.

Hands: Larry Fitzgerald

Christian Petersen/Getty Images

GLENDALE, AZ - OCTOBER 10: Wide receiver Larry Fitzgerald #11 of the Arizona Cardinals attempts to catch a pass under pressure from Malcolm Jenkins #27 of the New Orleans Saints during the NFL game at the University of Phoenix Stadium on October 10, 2010

There is no argument—Larry Fitzgerald has the softest hands in the NFL.

No matter who's covering him or how terrible the pass is, I fully expect him to catch any ball that comes anywhere close to him. Fitzgerald was trained by one of the best in Cris Carter—and it shows.

With these amazing hands on our monster, he'll be able to snag almost any ball out of the air at will.

Legs: Randy Moss

Jim McIsaac/Getty Images

EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ - OCTOBER 11: Randy Moss #84 and Percy Harvin #12 of the Minnesota Vikings react after Harvin caught a 34-yard touchdown pass in the fourth quarter against the New York Jets at New Meadowlands Stadium on October 11, 2010 in East Ruthe

Nobody can go up and grab the jump ball like Randy Moss. And I'm not just talking about today, I'm talking about all-time.

His ability to leap over defenders is something we've never seen in the history of the game, and his body control while in the air has no equal. Even as he ages and loses some of his speed, Moss has kept his spot as the best player at catching the deep ball because of these attributes.

With these piston-like legs powering our Frankenstein WR, he will be able to bail his QB out of any situation and take the ball out of the air, outleaping whichever cornerback is trying to cover him.

Feet: Devin Hester

Geoff Burke/Getty Images

CHARLOTTE, NC - OCTOBER 10: Wide receiver Devin Hester #23 of the Chicago Bears runs with the ball as linebacker Dan Connor #55 of the Carolina Panthers, linebacker Nic Harris #59 of the Carolina Panthers, and cornerback Robert McClain #36 of the Carolina

I might be cheating a little bit on this one, but Hester does line up at wide-out for the Bears, so he's still eligible.

This guy has amazing agility and can get to top speed at will, leaving would-be tacklers in his wake.

With this guy's otherworldly speed, our monster receiver is going to burn any cornerback in the league. He might accidentally even outrun his quarterback's throws from time to time; luckily, with all our other body parts, he'll still be able to make the catch.

Well, that's it for today's edition. Did I miss anybody? If so, tell me about it in the comments. Check back tomorrow and see who makes the list for the ultimate cornerback.