NFL Week 6 Predictions: Using Texts From Around The League To Gain Some Insight

This has been a crazy couple of weeks when it comes to messages (texts, tweets, direct messages, etc.). Thought we’d do some digging, hacking and whatnot to capture a weeks worth of NFL related messages that will give us all an insight into what some players and coaches are thinking going into some big-time week 6 matchups. Picks parenthesized and summarized at end.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chargers at Rams

From: Sam Bradford / To: Craig’s List Personal Connections Section -

I am a young, strong-armed and diamond-eyed QB looking for one decent receiver with ligaments in his legs stronger than linguine. I enjoy throwing laser beam throws and like guys who run great slant patterns.

(Indignant: Chargers/ Jaded: Chargers)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chiefs at Texans

From: MattCassel / To: God -

I swear to, well, you…the Texans are all atheists. PLEASE let me light them up like everybody else does. Coach Weis is starting to eye me up and I’m getting worried he’ll be eating ME for Thanksgiving (as an appetizer, obviously) if I don’t do something soon. Amen.

(Indignant: Texans/ Jaded: Texans)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ravens at Patriots

From: BrandonTate / To: Mom -
Great week. They traded Randy and Tom asked me how I feel about his hair. I said: ‘Polamalu who?’ Things are looking up!

From: BrandonTate / To: Mom -

They traded for Deion Branch and Tom won’t even look at me. Things are looking way down. He looks like Bieber anyway L

(Indignant: Patriots / Jaded: Ravens)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saints at Buccaneers

From: Atlanta Falcons & Arizona Cardinals / To: Saints players, coaches and fans -

We dat dere gon’ beat those Saints. Sorry about it, but your fairy tale is over and we’re all sick of seeing Drew Brees’ face everywhere.

Now, his wife on the other hand. . .

(Indignant: Saints / Jaded: Saints)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Falcons at Eagles

Accidental Sportsguy-style Tweet From: Andy Reid / To: World -

‘pancakes corn dogs’

Accidental sportsguy-style Tweet From: Mike Vick / To: World -

‘rover electric chair’

(Indignant: Eagles / Jaded: Falcons)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lions at Giants

From: Eli Manning / To: (every text he sends) -

…what the hell why isn’t this thing dialing?

From: Eli Manning / To: number he sees on television -

HI! IM ELI!

(Indignant: Giants / Jaded: Giants)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seahawks at Bears

From: Pete Carroll / To: Mother Nature -

Any chance you can bring weekend long hurricanes to every city we play in on the road? We can host the games, it’s fiiiiine. Please?

(Indignant: Bears / Jaded: Bears)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dolphins at Packers

From:Karma / To: Green Bay Packers -

Umm. . . Yeah, every once in a while all the pundits and analysts like to pick one team that will ‘surely’ steam-roll through the season and playoffs. When this happens, we like to go ahead and severely injure anywhere from 20-40% of their roster. Sorry. I know it’s going be tough to see Cutlers chins come in first.

(Indignant: Dolphins / Jaded: Packers)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Browns at Steelers

From: NOT-BigBen (his lawyers denied the allegations though) / To: Brett Favre -

Seriously dude, phenomenal timing. I get to blow out a team while you lose at home AND I’m not the biggest pervert QB in the league anymore? For this I’m committing my next felony in a Sears bathroom while wearing Wrangler jeans.

PS: One more year! One more year!

From Colt McCoy / To: Steelers -

Please be gentle…

(Indignant: Steelers / Jaded: Steelers)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jets at Broncos

From: Mark Sanchez / To: Jenn Sterger -

So I hear you like quarterbacks? Shit! That was supposed to be a direct message. #SportsGuyDMs. Wait, this isn’t twitter?

(Indignant: Jets / Jaded: Jets)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raiders at 49ers

From: Sports Media Outlets / To: 49ers Owner Jed York –

Listen, we all know you’ll be firing Mike Singeltary after the season and we won’t argue with that. All we can ask is that instead of firing him, you just give him a different position. We can call it ‘Official Press Conference Haver’ or ‘President of Awesome Sound Bites.’ Because it’s quite clear at this point that this is the field in which Mr. Look-at-Me-Im-Super-Religious-and-That-Defines-me, excels.

(Indignant: 49ers / Jaded: 49ers)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cowboys at Vikings

From: Brett Favre / To: Deanna Favre –

Hey honey, how’s it going… Hey, look at this:

/File brettspet_18.jpg has been sent to Deanna

Why aren’t you answering back? I just wanted you to let me know if it looks swollen- I think I have tendinitis down there too L

(Indignant: Vikings / Jaded: Cowboys)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colts at Redskins

From: Jim Caldwell / To: Colts Team -

"                    hrrmm. . .                            "

From: Peyton Manning / To: Jim Caldwell -

I’ll take it from here Jim. . And defense. You guys have done enough.

(Indignant: Colts / Jaded: Colts)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Titans @ Jaguars

From: N.F.L. / To: city of Los Angeles

So. . . you guys have enough parking and concessions and all that set up right? The new stadium should be really awesome too. We’d like it if you didn’t have to tarp 30% of the bleachers. It’ll be like a real NFL city. We can’t wait.

(Indignant: Titans / Jaded: Titans)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Summary of Picks:

Jaded(40-36) : Chargers; Texans; Ravens; Saints; Falcons; Giants; Bears; Packers; Steelers; Jets; 49ers; Cowboys; Colts; Titans

Indignant (43-33): Chargers; Texans; Patriots; Saints; Eagles; Giants; Bears; Dolphins; Steelers; Jets; 49ers; Vikings; Colts; Titans