Silliman's Take on the China-Brazil Basketball Brawl (Chuck Norris Was Needed)

"Everybody was kung-fu fighting

Those cats were fast as lighting"

With apologies to Carl Douglas but in a friendly game between friendly countries, China and Brazil, a brawl broke out.

I forgot to interject one thing: Friendly game between two countries, but the Chinese team has an extra ingredient, a foul-mouthed American coach, Bob Donewald, Jr. (former Hornets and Cavs assistant).

The Chinese men's national team apologized for the melee.

Watch the video. There's lots of kicking going on, along with karate chops, girlie slaps and towel swings. Something for everyone. It's like locker room friskies on crack.

One Chinese player now has a neck brace.

Quick thought: if your team is scheduled to play China, brush up on your Asian martial arts. Add Chuck Norris as a bench coach, not for his basketball knowledge, but just having him there might discourage melees. The Chinese know how much Norris relishes round-house kicking commies into the bleachers.

Could this elevate? Will the Chinese retaliate by adding Jackie Chan as a bench coach? Will they add more lead paint to the Barbie dolls just to gig you when you're licking on one?

Might happen.

Would you like to see a basketball game where Chuck Norris and Jackie Chan sit across the court from each other, seething...grimacing...sneering...and then each of them breaks into an Elvis impersonation?

The Chinese Basketball Association says the entire team will be forced to attend classes on sportsmanship. As stated in their paper "give them time to deeply reflect."

Other papers are saying "Hell, no. We're tired of being the 90 pound weakling."

This apparently goes back to the clash in Puerto Rico, 2005. At that time, their coach said if the Chinese were afraid to fight, opposing teams would believe the Chinese team to be weak and use foul play as a tool against them.

More papers are responding to the idea that China is tired of being pushed around.

Well, maybe the idea of no longer being pushed around is why they hired Bob Donewald, Jr.a hothead American coach who can F-bomb you back to the stone age. Donewald may be there to instill toughness in the Chinese players. Donewald slings the F-word around like wild-west gunfighters sling their Colt-45s. Do the Chinese approve?

"Why not? You stole word from us," says Chou Moskowitz my Jewish-Chinese waiter friend. "When you say 'F-you' you brag about Fuk University, great higher learning institution. Lots of Americans shout about our university."

Okay Chou, but are you saying the new China is going to start being the tough guy? Alter everyone's of them?

Is it going to happen? Is China going to say to Wal-Mart "Sorry, we're not making your toys any more. We're going to donate more money to U.S. Chamber of Commerce and we're going to tell everybody not to buy Japanese products."

All because of a basketball game?

Check out these videos, kiddos. Let me know what you think.