I'm a Bruins Fan, I Just Don't Care

Hey, I just heard that the Bruins are in second place!

I wasn’t entirely aware that they still existed.

Actually, that’s a lie. I saw the highlights earlier this year when the Flyers tried to kill Patrice Bergeron.

I also think I heard they have another "next best thing" goaltender who’s had a cup of coffee with the team this year (remember Blaine Lacher? The Lach-Net-Monster?).

Anyway, this got me thinking…. Does anyone really care about the Bruins anymore?

Most professional sports teams have three types of fans.

-Fair-Weather Fans: Like every Bulls fan in the 90s, a disturbingly large number of Red Sox fans today, and any Colts fan not from Indianapolis. These fans don’t really care, but they latch on to a winner. They buy up hats, jerseys, etc. Then they leave for the next best thing once the team starts to lose again.

-Passionate Fan, Type A: These are fans that root for their teams to win, to the point of near insanity (we call them Patriots and real Red Sox fans). These fans root for their teams through thick and thin.

Sometimes, however, the team constantly insults their fans' intelligence (Florida Marlins), continually acts in a ridiculous manner (New York Knicks), or constantly rips their fans' hearts out (any team from Philly). When this happens, type A fans turn into type B fans.

-Passionate Fan, Type B: These are fans that get so disgusted (or caught up in potential high draft picks—looking at you, Celtics fans) that they start rooting against their team. These fans want someone fired, the coach run out of town…but still love the team. They just feel the need to turn on them and show them a little tough love. They’ll eventually come back better than ever.

During the Cam Neely, Ray Bourque, and Adam Oates era I was a Type-A Bruins fan. I watched every game. I could tell you every player on every line. I lived and died with every Andy Moog save (which was dangerous come playoff time….or any time the Penguins were on the ice).

Then came the post-Neely years. The team was so bad at times that I openly rooted against them, morphing into a passionate, Type-B fan. Hoping that either 1) the coach at the time would get fired, 2) Harry Sinden would give up and leave town, and/or 3) Jacobs would sell the team.

But there was another type of fan that I wasn’t familiar with. For lack of a better term, we’ll call them Bruins Fans.

They watched Ray Bourque, the most loyal Bruin ever, finally give up and win a Stanley Cup in (of all places) Denver. Watching championship-starved Bruins fans celebrate another team’s championship because their former captain happened to be on the team was probably, in retrospect, the final straw.

Bruins fans have simply stopped caring. We forget the B's even exist at times. We put the hockey team we used to love on the same level as the New England Revolution. Sure, they’re there, we might watch if they’re on TV and we’re drunk enough, but for the most part….Bruins fans just simply don’t care. They win, great. They lose, great. Did you catch the score of the Celtics game?

I’m sure there are still Bruins fans out there, but I know there are plenty of Bruins Fans. For us Bruins fans, there are only two solutions to our problem:

1. Jeremy Jacobs sells the team (which will never happen, because the remaining Bruins fans are undermining our cause by showing up for games and buying stuff at the fake Garden—as long as the team makes money, Jacobs will never sell).

2. The Bruins move out of Boston and we get to start over with a new team.

There is no way a Bruins fan could put anything more than a passing glance’s worth of effort into this team. We’ve been beaten, bruised, abused and ignored for far, far too long.

I'm SeanMC and I'm a Bruins fan. How about them Patriots!