20 Cliches We Never Want To Hear a Sportscaster Say Again
With ESPN, the NFL Network, Versus, the Golf Channel and all the major networks spewing out tons of sports television each day literally millions of words are used each year for sports play-by-play and opinion.
For the most part, it's pretty good. We're all either entertained or informed. But sometimes, those whom we entrust to narrate the events "drop the ball." (See that's just one of many terrible sports cliches)
Here is a list of sports terms and cliches we hope that someone will "put a nail in the coffin" of. (See that's another one)
No. 20: โJust Having Funโ
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Often applied to Brett Favre, sports casters are apt to pull this one out when they see a player smiling a lot out on the field. Naturally, John Madden used it often.
Hines Ward is another frequent โguy just having fun out there.โ
As is often a theme with grossly overused sports clichรฉs, the guy is โonly having funโ when his team is winning and he is playing well. If the Vikings are down 49-0 in the fourth quarter and the camera pans over to Favre and heโs laughing it up with Jared Allen, the media will blast him for not taking the loss seriously.
Of course winning is fun. Who gets angry when they hit a home run or drain a three-pointer?
No. 19: โAnd Boom Goes the Dynamiteโ
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That poor college reporter, Brian Collins, is still routinely mocked for his awful telecast where he couldnโt keep up when the teleprompter broke down.
Yes, โboom goes the dynamiteโ was hilariousโฆ..until SportsCenter anchors used it 1,500 times per episode.
No. 18: โThe Look of a Championโ And/or โyou Can See It in His Eyesโ
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So, now sportscasters are experts in body language?
Ok, if a player is slouched over, bawling uncontrollably, or curled up in the fetal position before the last play, then, maybe he doesnโt have the look of a champion.
But itโs a bit much to show a glimpse of a player and declare he is destined to win the game or tournament just by his stare.
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No. 17: โWalk-Offโ Home Run
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Whenever this became big, probably during the 1990s, it exploded like the plague. Now itโs an official term. Remember when it was โgame winningโ hit or RBI or home run? Topps actually had that stat on their baseball cards in the 1980s.
Why did they change it to the more ambiguous โwalk off?โ Another failure Major League Baseball travesty that occurred on Bud Seligโs watch.
No. 16: โNot So Fast My Friendโ
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Although Lee Corso on ESPNโs College Gameday is the worst offender of this one, Kirk Herbstreit and Chris Fowler chime in with it every now and then.
Corso was smart to corner the market on a college football catch phrase but itโs so cheesy now.
No. 15: "Go To Guy"
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Can't we say it any better than this? As over-played as "he's our bread and butter"--which makes little sense either--at least it's somewhat nuanced.
But instead, sportscasters usually settle for this bad cliche. It sounds like it was something grunted by a cave man: "Go to guy over there. He our go to guy."
No. 14: โXs and Osโ
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This one comes courtesy the great former player and later Georgia Tech and Alabama Head Football Coach, Bill Curry.
When sportscasters refer to schemes and the actual visual details of a play, they are always dubbed โXs and Os.โ As in each offensive player (basketball or football) is an โOโ and the defenders are โXโ when drawn up on a chalk board or dry-erase board.
But in truth, thatโs a gross oversimplification of the diagramming of plays. Still, it probably wouldnโt be so unsettling if it wasnโt used every other minute of a broadcast.
No. 13: โFairway-Metalโ
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Like the previous entry, this one makes perfect sense, especially in the modern era. But it still feels awkward to hear Johnny Miller call a โ4-woodโ a โ4-metal.โ
Persimmons woods went out alongside break dancing in the 1980s but that vestigial term should remain. If you say โgrab me a 3-woodโ to your caddy, thatโs pretty clear.
The worst part is that Miller has all of his NBC colleagues on the bandwagon. Perhaps, if a guy shoots a 63 to win the US Open at Oakmont he can call a fairway wood whatever he wants.
No. 12: A Quarterback or Pitchers or Goalies โBest Friendโ
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In team sports itโs a little strange to single out one player as another playerโs โbest friend.โ
For one, itโs weird to think of Tom Brady and Wes Welker hanging out in the sandbox together like their on the playground in 3rd grade. But when Brady connects with Walker on a few passes in a row, someone will say that โWalker is Bradyโs best friend.โ
Thatโs not so bad when referring to two players, although itโs still weird. But, in baseball, the old clichรฉ is that โa double play is a pitcherโs best friend.โ How can you be friends with a putout?
No. 11: โTaste of Their Own Medicineโ
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This one is just bad because itโs used to death.
No one would say much if Peyton Manning were to scramble for a 5 yard gain and pick up the first down. But if the run happens to come while the Colts are playing the Philadelphia Eagles and quarterback Michael Vick, somewhere, some announcer will find that wonderfully ironic.
โThey gave the Eagles a taste of their own medicine!โ
No. 10: โPhysical, Smash Mouth Footballโ
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Teams like the Pittsburgh Steelers and Tennessee Titans are guilty-by-proxy here. In short, when a team runs the ball effectively, itโs โphysical smash mouth footballโ
Yes, the running game probably features more hard hits than the passing game, but on what play in football, at any level, isnโt there hard hitting? Field goals, punts, kickoffs, hail Marys, etc: on every one of those plays there are a handful of big dudes clobbering each other.
No. 9: โHe just wanted it moreโ
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Tiger Woods is regarded as one of the greatest competitors of all time. His desire is unquestioned and, according to many sportscasters, unmatched.
Letโs say that next yearโs Masters were to come down to one hole, between Tiger Woods and some Tour no-name. If Tiger edges out Player X by sinking a birdie putt, thereโs a pretty good chance someone is going to inform us that โTiger just wanted it more.โ
How exactly do you measure that? Itโs a safe bet that the guy who lost wants it pretty badly.
No. 8: Everything Brent Musberger Says
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Isnโt it sad that his most likable sports broadcasting moments came in Rocky II and The Waterboy? Maybe thatโs because he had a script to read from.
When he does the play-by-play for a college game today, itโs pretty hard to listen to. He either piggybacks too much off of what his partner says or tosses out lame jokes and seemingly fake enthusiasm. Sorry Brent!
No. 7: โItโs Midnight for Cinderellaโ
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March Madness usually brings this one out of the sportscastersโ salvo each spring.
Aside from it not exactly fitting the mouldโdoesnโt Cinderella ultimately โwinโ at the end of the fairy tale?โitโs probably pretty annoying to the team or player the announcer is referring to. Would YOU want to refer to Dwight Howard or Adrian Peterson as Cinderella, a cartoon woman?
Bill Murray is partly to blame for this. When Carl Spackler narrated his tulip-hacking round in the middle of Caddyshack he repeatedly referred to himself as โa Cinderella story.โ A whole generation of young,
No. 6: โYou donโt thinkโ John Elway wants to win this game!?
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This is just mangled, non-sensical blather. Occasionally, and especially in football, a player will make a great play that epitomizes perseverance and toughness.
A few broken tackles will usually lead an announcer to spew out โyou donโt think he wants to get that first down? Look at this run!โ
Who could possibly think the player did not want to make the first down. Dan Dierdorf and formerly John Madden go this card quite often.
No. 5: โItโs a chip shot field goalโ
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A chip shot in golf isnโt necessarily easy. (Then again neither is a 25-yard field goal). Try chipping over a bunker and onto a fast, downward slopping green. ย
The announcer is trying to say that it is from a short distance so it is simpler. They could avoid all the confusion if they apply another golf term: in match play, a short putt is a โgimmeโ and is essentially a formality.
That is what announcers are trying to say when they call a short field goal a โchip shot.โ
No. 4: โRBIโ (plural)
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Yes, if you want to follow standard English, โRuns Batted Inโ is already in the plural form, thus saying a โPujols had 5 RBIโ is technically correct, instead of โPujols had 5 RBIs.โ
But that sounds so weird! Didnโt we all grow up saying RBIs? Thanks a lot grammar police for making that stat sound awkward.
No. 3: โ[Insert Sport] I.Q.โ
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Any player who makes a smart play or is renowned for knowing the intricacies of the game better than his peers is said to have a great โ[insert their sport] I.Q.โ Peyton Manning has a great โfootball I.Q.โ, Derek Fisher a โgreat basketball I.Q.โ, Derek Jeter a great โbaseball I.Q.โ.
We get it, announcers, the player isnโt an idiot. We have a good โsports fan I.Q.โ
No. 2: Heโs a โhard workerโ
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This term is comically at both the college and pro level.
In the NFL or NBA, calling a player โhard workerโ should be offensive to the audience. In todayโs era, when virtually all pro athletes are millionaires, donโt we expect them to be โhard workers?โ
Itโs not like they are squeezing in batting practice in between their 8-5 shift at the insurance office. They get paidโand handsomelyโto โwork hard.โ
Now in college, the term takes on a different meaning. Sportscasters say a player is โa hard workerโ when they donโt have something nice to say about their talent.
When the camera scrolls to the bench at a Duke game, the player wearing his sweats without a bead of sweat on his face and sitting next to Coach K is probably a great worker. Just not good enough to crack the lineup. ย Kind of an insult when you think about it.
No. 1: โThrew Him Under the Busโ
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Taking the metaphor a bit too far. When a player or coach calls out another player or coach through the media, he or she certainly didnโt do them any favors.
It was probably a rude or stupid or divisive thing to say. But he wasnโt exactly murdering them, the way you would if you โthrew them under a bus.โ
Still, it is a metaphor, so the intention is not lost. But like all terrible clichรฉs, this one is awful because it is used all the time. Anytime even a minor conflict arrives in sports today, one player was โthrown under the busโ by another player.
Mike Golic and Mike Greenburg (aka Mike & Mike) deserve a lot of the blame on this one.
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