For The Love of Manning: A Love Note to The Enemy

It's blasphemous, I know.  I will be looked upon with shame; probably ostracized, never to be regarded with respect again.  But I don't care!  I'm busting at the seams here and I can't hold it in any longer.  With the start of the NFL season this coming week, this is a good time to say this.  I'm coming out of the locker room here, publicly, in front of all of you.  I love Peyton Manning!

I'm a Patriots fan.  I have been ever since I started being one.  So that's why this is a forbidden love that should never be uttered in these circles.

It represents a great leap for me.  You see, throughout my young childhood and subsequent adult childhood, I've always hated the enemy. 

For instance, Magic Johnson was public enemy #1 when I was growing up.  It got to the point where I would deny any truth to his greatness. "Did you see the half-court fadeaway off the in-bounds Magic hit yesterday at the buzzer?"

"Yeah, I did.  It was luck."

He did it every time, though.  Yet it was always luck in my eyes.  It took his retirement from the game to realize how great he truly was.

Patrick Roy was a thoroughly overrated goalie.  At least, he was when he played, but after he left the ice, he was one of the best of all-time.

Derek Jeter is a selfish player that is only propped up by the media.  However, I'm sure that when he retires, I'll . . . no, I pretty much am gonna undercut any of his accomplishments until the day I die.  That guy's gotta be taking some sort of illegal supplement.

But Peyton . . . oh, Peyton!  I may be married to Tom Brady, but I'm gonna go Tiger Woods with Peyton Manning. 

How can you not like him?  He's one of the best quarterbacks ever to lace 'em up on the football field, and a self-deprecating pitchman with brilliant comic timing off it.

Tell me you didn't bust a gut laughing at his "Saturday Night Live" performance when he said, "I'm gonna go home, bake some snickerdoodles, and make out with my French-kissing puppet." 

I'll admit it trumped Tom Brady's Kermit the Frog impression, or his delivery of the line "No funnel cake! . . . Bear!"

Now some is a factor of the show's writing. Tom appeared on the show when the new cast was just beginning to gel; Peyton, as they were hitting their stride.

Do I believe TB could have nailed the scripts Peyton was given?  Without a doubt.  He was great on "Entourage," so there's no reason to believe otherwise.  But Tom's more the heartthrob and model than Peyton is.  The middle Manning is more the straight actor/comedian/performer, not to mention Hall of Fame-bound team leader. 

I'll be shocked if offers don't pour in from networks with acting gigs once Peyton's done on the field.  And I'm not talking something like Michael Strahan's weak starring- vehicle. 

I envision something with a logline like, "The perfect quarterback who can't do anything wrong, retires to find, in life after football, he can't do anything right."  And hilarity will ensue!  I'll watch . . . even if it's on the CW.

I'm rooting for Peyton.  I wanted his team to go 19-0 and surpass the record set by my man Tom (only to have Tom surpass him when the NFL expands to an eighteen game season.  I want Peyton to get injured next year so that he can get a "Comeback Player of the Year" nod like Tom has.  (But nothing too crippling.  Maybe just a chronic hang nail or something.)

Tom sets the bar and Peyton matches the jump.  It's great to see.  Like Larry and Magic.  And I'm glad I can finally appreciate something like this while it's happening.

I believe in Prop. 18!  A fan should have the right to love whoever he wants, regardless of team jersey!  I just hope my fellow Pats fans don't block passage of this law.