Hey, Ump! Bend Over and Use Your Good Eye: The 20 Funniest Hecklers in Sports

Sam WestmorelandFeatured ColumnistSeptember 3, 2010

Hey, Ump! Bend Over and Use Your Good Eye: The 20 Funniest Hecklers in Sports

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    Priceless. But not good enough to make our list.
    Priceless. But not good enough to make our list.

    Every sporting event has them. Sometimes, they're hilarious; others, you want them to spontaneously combust. 

    They're hecklers, and they've been a part of sports since before you, I, or Jesus was born. 

    But who are the best of all time? They succeed in getting under a player's skin through wit, obscenity, or sheer volume. 

    I've compiled a list of 20 of the funniest signs and sign holders of all time. 

20. The Buffalo Bills' Training Camp Hecklers

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    DETROIT - SEPTEMBER 02:  Buffalo Bills head coach Chan Gailey watches the action during the fouth quarter of the preseason game at Ford Field on September 2, 2010 in Detroit, Michigan. The Lions defeated the Bills 28-23.  (Photo by Leon Halip/Getty Images
    Leon Halip/Getty Images

    So, all these hecklers managed to do was prevent their entire section from getting Bills' players' autographs after practice, plus earn them a stern talking to from head coach Chan Gailey. 

    Sounds like a win-win scenario to me. 

19. Bleacher Creatures, Yankee Stadium

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    They're loud, obnoxious New Yorkers. Wait, was that sentence redundant?
    They're loud, obnoxious New Yorkers. Wait, was that sentence redundant?

    They're loud, they're vulgar, and worst of all, they're Yankees fans. The fans of section 203 in the new Yankee Stadium are among the most vicious hecklers in all of sports, although they do, on occasion, have funny moments. 

18. Bleacher Bums, Wrigley Field

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    Much like the Creatures of New York, the Bums are loud and obnoxious. But, unlike the Creatures, they don't like the Yankees.
    Much like the Creatures of New York, the Bums are loud and obnoxious. But, unlike the Creatures, they don't like the Yankees.

    The Chicago wing of Creatures, the Bleacher Bums have been tormenting opposing outfielders in the Friendly Confines since your dad was a kid. Much like the Creatures, they rely on copious amounts of alcohol to come up with their wit. 

17. Illinois Ice Hockey Hecklers

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    These three are responsible for one of the toughest environments in college hockey.
    These three are responsible for one of the toughest environments in college hockey.

    Apparently, at Illinois University hockey games, the crowd can get rather vulgar. It seems that these three gentlemen have enlisted the help of several classmates to scour Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, and every other conceivable social network to find any weakness in opponents. 

    Once the game starts, they let them have it. 

16. The People Who Made This Sign

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    Take that Barry Bonds!
    Take that Barry Bonds!

    For those who have poor eyesight, this sign reads "Ruth did it on hot dogs & beer. Aaron did it with class. How did YOU do it?" 

    It's directed at Barry Bonds. I love this sign. 

15. IU Student Section

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    Indeed.
    Indeed.

    As a current resident of Indiana, I know better than to get involved in this war. But this particular salvo made me laugh for almost a solid minute. 

14. LeBron James' Hecklers at Cedar Point

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    MIAMI - JULY 09:  LeBron James #6 of the Miami Heat is introduced during a welcome party at American Airlines Arena on July 9, 2010 in Miami, Florida.  (Photo by Marc Serota/Getty Images)
    Marc Serota/Getty Images

    How do you know you've pissed off an entire state? When you can't shoot baskets at an amusement park without drawing calls of "Shoot with your left, LeBron, your elbow's hurt!" or "Just like Game 5!" 

    Classic. 

13. UNC Fans

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    They have the Ha's backwards. Everyone know Krzyzewski says "Ah, ah, ah".
    They have the Ha's backwards. Everyone know Krzyzewski says "Ah, ah, ah".

    Yes. I enjoyed this. It was funny. Don't worry, Duke fans. Your time is coming soon. 

12. Robert Szasz

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    He'd fit right in in New York.
    He'd fit right in in New York.

    Szasz is a Tampa Bay real estate developer. He took advantage of the small, quiet crowds at Tropicana Field to unleash some crazy taunts on Rays' opponents. Former Mariner Brett Boone and former Royal Jose Guillen were two of his more prominent reactions, with Boone getting into a yelling match with Szasz, and Guillen offering him a pair of signed bats to shut up.

    But the Happy Heckler keeps on going. 

11. These Guys

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    Awesome.
    Awesome.

    I don't know why, but these signs kill me. Maybe it's the ref's "Don't react, just pretend you can't see them" face. 

10. Tiger's Plane Message

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    During the 2010 Masters, Tiger's first tournament after he got caught with his little Tiger in a bunch of different cookie jars, this banner was seen being towed behind a plane. 

    Naturally, the FAA grounded it, because they have nothing better to do. 

9. The Guy From Happy Gilmore

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    The man who uttered those immortal words.
    The man who uttered those immortal words.

    Who could forget that iconic phrase? 

    "You suck, you JACKASS!"

8. Spike Lee

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    LOS ANGELES, CA - JUNE 15:  Director Spike Lee walks along the sideline in Game Six of the 2010 NBA Finals between the Boston Celtics and the Los Angeles Lakers at Staples Center on June 15, 2010 in Los Angeles, California.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly a
    Christian Petersen/Getty Images

    Lee is a big time movie director, making him the highest profile name on this list. Except, of course, for number seven, who Lee had quite the run in with. 

7. Reggie Miller

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    Hehehe.
    Hehehe.

    One of the best instances of a player heckling a heckler right back. Plus, this is an amazing picture. 

6. Cameron Crazies

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    Among the first group hecklers
    Among the first group hecklers

    The Crazies were pioneers among the heckling community. Among the first groups to use cheat sheets, the Crazies helped perfect the moving in unison that has become a staple of fan bases across the country. 

    Plus, they seem to work, as the uncomfortable look on that Georgetown player's face would indicate. 

5. The Phillie Phanatic

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    PHILADELPHIA - MAY 2: The Phillie Phanatic performs during the game between the New York Mets and the Philadelphia Phillies at Citizens Bank Park on May 2, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. The Phillies won 11-5. (Photo by Hunter Martin/Getty Images)
    Hunter Martin/Getty Images

    The Phanatic is one of the classic mascot hecklers. He loves stomping opposing batting helmets, and has been assaulted by former Dodgers manager Tommy LaSorda. His debut in 1978 was definitely a success, and he's been annoying Phillies' opponents ever since. 

4. The San Diego Chicken

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    SAN DIEGO - APRIL 12:   The San Diego Chicken performs during the game between the Atlanta Braves and the San Diego Padres on April 12, 2010 at Petco Park in San Diego, California.    (Photo by Stephen Dunn/Getty Images)
    Stephen Dunn/Getty Images

    The Chicken is legendary among mascots. He started as an advertisement, but was often affiliated with the Padres. The Chicken is notable for lacking a true team, although he was first seen in San Diego. 

    For being a pioneer in the realm of costumed mascots, the Chicken makes No. 4. 

3. This Kid

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    It's not the sign, it's the kid AND the sign.
    It's not the sign, it's the kid AND the sign.

    Why is this kid so high on the list? Because he might be one of the most awkward looking children I've ever seen. Couple that with the sign and you have heckling hilarity of the highest proportion. 

2. The Green Men

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    This is what these guys do. All. Game. Long.
    This is what these guys do. All. Game. Long.

    These guys go to every Vancouver Canucks game and wait for an opposing player to get a penalty. Once the box door swings closed, they do everything in their power to get a reaction from the man in the square. 

    Typically, they get a laugh, but on occasion, players don't take too kindly to their shenanigans. 

1. Robin Ficker

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    Ficker has been a voice in NBA players' ears for quite some time now.
    Ficker has been a voice in NBA players' ears for quite some time now.

    Ficker is the consumate heckler. Doesn't waste time on refs or scrubs, he goes straight for the stars. And nothing is sacred for this man with the booming voice. 

    An example of his talents: Despite spending his whole career as a Washington Bullets/Wizards fan, Charles Barkley once hired him to heckle Michael Jordan during their playoff series. Ficker busted out giant dice and cards, and dealt real hands, asking Jordan to place his bet. 

    Eventually a grinning Jordan started raising fingers, telling him how much he was wagering. It didn't matter, though; the Bulls beat the Suns in the series. But Ficker's place in heckling lore was sealed that series, and he will remain an icon in the field for decades.