Miami Heat: Top 10 Reasons to Root Against the South Beach Super Team
With all the controversy swirling around the Miami Heat's off season acquisitions it seems like an appropriate time to interject a little humor.
Something to liven up the mood and melodrama surrounding this whole fiasco. Perhaps it will make the countless haters smile for a moment before remembering how hopeless next season will be for their team. That is unless they're Miami Heat fans.
After all "laughter is the spice of life."
Taking a page from late night entertainment and giving David Letterman’s Top Ten list its due respect, here’s a quick Top Ten to help ease the pain for those who may not be Heat fans.
Feel free to chime in with ideas that should have made the list but were left off.
Remember this is all in jest.
Enjoy
10. You're the President of the Penny Hardaway Fan Club
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You're not only the President but you're also one of five members.
I think Lil Penny had a better chance of making this years Heat roster than Anfernee did.
9. The Miami Dolphins Need Some Love Come November and December
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Jim Mora Voice: "Dolphins...Dolphins.... You wanna talk about Dolphins?"
Yes yes we know the Dolphins are the "Kings of South Florida Sports" but come late October the majority of Miami fans will be obsessing over the Heat's new team and not whether Ricky and Ronnie can remain healthy.
8. Dwyane Wade Took Custody of Your Kids
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Never a good thing to opine on personal matters so let's just say that based on the actions of both parents during the past year it's a good thing that Dwyane's two kids are in their fathers custody.
On the other hand a reality TV series of Wade taking custody of peoples kids would be pretty damn funny.
Imagine a SWAT team and camera men busting down your door and taking your kid.
Fast forward three weeks and you get a post card from some exotic tropical island. It's your child writing to inform you that he's living with Dwyane Wade. He lets you know he's doing well, and has no desire to return home.
7. You Live in Ohio, but Not Akron
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Not sure if they're all dehydrated from the endless flow of tears they let go after LeBron's "Decision" but Cleveland sure seems to be drinking a lot of "Haterade" these days.
6. You Didn't Renew Your Season Ticket Plan After Last Season!
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Rony Seikaly mistakenly sold his, Andy Garcia couldn't get any and then there are those unfortunate souls who either waited to buy theirs or even worse didn't renew their season tickets.
5. You Were Michael Beasley's Pot Dealer
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We should've known he was as high as a kite when he confessed "Sponge Bob Square Pants" was his favorite TV show.
Somewhere in Dade county there is a weed dealer that's now missing out on $1200 -$1600 a month.
4. You Thought LeBron Was Going To Chicago & Bet Big On The Bulls To Win It All
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Of course a degenerate gambler and disgruntled underachiever would hate on other people winning. Sorry that LeBron won't be joining your "No Rings Allowed" club.
3. Your Husband Already Marked Off 82 Days That He Will Not Be Available
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You have a house full of family and Christmas Day festivities have to be put on hold for 3 hours because the Heat are playing the Lakers.
If Miami makes the playoffs you'll have to make due without Dad/Hubby for an even longer period of time.
2. You're a New York Street Vendor and Printed 5,000 of These
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Some poor guy jumped the gun up in the Big Apple and is now sitting on a storage space filled with LeBron to New York shirts.
1. You're a Member Of Eric Spoelstra's Family & Want to Spend More Time With Him
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How long a leash will Coach Spo have this season?
It didn't take much for Stan Van Gundy to request more time to be with loved ones and you know Riley has to be itching at the chance to coach the team he has assembled.
Spoelstra who is still single could use the "I want to spend more time trying to start a family" line.
