"Hi. My Name Is Jason Maxiell. I'm Here To Dunk On You."

He doesn’t have overwhelming numbers, but the Detroit Pistons' 6'7", 260-pound-monster forward Jason Maxiell doesn’t care who’s standing in his way.

If he gets the ball, he will try to crush one on your entire family.

Joe Dumars was the only GM to realize what Cincinnati Bearcats fans already knew: Jason Maxiell is an absolute behemoth with fifty-foot-long arms.

Dumars drafted Maxiell in the first round back in 2005, and it might be time for the rest of the NBA to start learning about him.

Back on November 16th in Los Angeles, Kobe Bryant—who blocked Yao Ming earlier in the season—thought he could go up and deny Maxiell.

Do you think any part of Jason Maxiell’s brain cared one bit about Kobe Bryant? Nope, not at all. Kobe got a nice taste of a huge right-handed pumpfest right in his ball-hog face.

Last season in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference Finals, Tayshaun Prince missed a layup in traffic. The ball bounced off the rim between Maxiell and Lebron James. Surely Jason Maxiell, a relatively unknown bench player, had to worry about man-child Lebron James blocking his shot, right?

Yeah, right.

Maxiell grabbed the rock, cocked it back, and thumped a right-handed sledgehammer all over Lebron’s entire entourage.

Just so you know, Max can do more than just dunk. He is a relentless rebounder, as displayed by back-to-back double-figure board games last week in 15 and 26 minutes respectively. That's right—he had 10 boards in just 15 minutes against Cleveland.

He can also block shots, because—as I heard in a rap song about the Cincinnati Bearcats—his arms are longer than an elephant’s $%#@. He’s currently averaging almost two return-to-senders in only 23 minutes per game.

Scouts, experts, and coaches already know about Jason Maxiell. I’m sure some fans here and there do as well. But the masses should learn.

The kid is a good story. He doesn’t talk sh*t after a huge dunk or a seventh-row rejection. He simply runs back down the court, ready to continue playing hard.

If the Pistons are on TV, or some of their highlights come up on Sportscenter, I recommend checking Max out. Number 54—the thick tank guarding the other team’s biggest guy.