The Hood Internet vs Josh McDaniels: The ReMash

As I waste countless hours of my life uncovering shimmering truths of triviality on the interweb, there inevitably comes a moment where I begin questioning the purposelessness of it all.  I start to feel meek, and unimportant, and devoid of the basic sensation of living.  

But Hark!  I am saved.  Not from revelatory sentiments of personal worth or meaning, but from the insanely well orchestrated jams supplied by The Hood Internet.  

For those of you not in the know, The Hood Internet is a pair of musical commissars who put together some of the most well-structured and cohesive mash ups I’ve ever heard.  They produce new mixes on an insanely regular basis available for full and free public enjoyment.  The first time you realize they have mixed the likes of Juvenile with those of Passion Pit (“Back that Sleepyhead Up”), you assume it's some attempt at humorous musical commentating, with the punchline being the obscene diversity in genres.  And yes, that is the punchline,  but there is no joke.  Just seriously good music.

The Hood Internet does not produce remixes.  Though, the distinction seems slight, a remix is altering an original into something new, but still of the same ilk.  Mash-ups retain what makes the original so darn good, and layers it with something of an entirely different style.  

Oh Snap.  I think I’m about to explain my analogy with another analogy.

Remix’s are like those insanely popular self serve FroYo places.  You know, the ones where you wait it a long line behind girls dramatically suffering the decision between “Taro” or “Coconilla” .  Where, after you fill your cup unabashedly full of a “Lychee” flavored yogurt substance, you proceed past an antiseptic dreamscape buffet of toppings.  Past freshly cut kiwi,  glistening blackberries, and little gummie balls that you are pretty sure unicorns once feasted upon.  In sum, you are adding fruitiness to fruitiness.  It is something all together different, but still, fruitily different.

Mashups are more like speciality espresso beverages at McDonalds.  Sort of ironic, undoubtedly cheap, but still so freakin’ delicious.   It’s adding a dollop of elitist foam atop of an unsophisticated brew of caffeinated, generic, comfort.  I mean, the brand itself is called “McCafe”.   Now that’s a MASH.

The moment of the ultimate question now welcomes us. Hello ultimate question!

So what is better in the world of football?  The Remix or the Mashup?

So what is a football remix exactly?  Taking a spread option and giving it, ummm,  more options?  Taking a wildcat offense and making it more, well, wildly feline. The Extremely Licentious Nimibian Lion Offense? Maybe add a mane?  This would be one logical explanation behind that crop circle of hair Tim Tebow sported in preseason.  Well, now we know what Denver will be running...

Or maybe they'll make their west coast offense farther west?   Won't that then make it the far east coast offense?

The mashup of football is a layering of philosophies.  Like a team with a speed-infused Tampa-2 defense being all grind-it-out, eat-the-clock, on offense.  It is a layering of personalities, like Ochocinco and TO.  No wait.  That’s definitely a remix, one in which I’m scared to mention in fear that Ochocinco and TO might grow inspired and record their own tracks in hopes of actually having them remixed.

Our society doesn’t need that.   

So which is better?  I’m too distracted with visions of a super-exposed football players engaging in rap battles to answer that now.

But I’m all for giving Josh McDaniels the new title DJ Jazzy McLatte.