Top 10 Badass Athletes

Leave the women and children at home. 

Honorable Mentions

1. Pete Rose: "Charlie Hustle"; ran to first base after walks, all-time hits leader, and separated Ray Fosse's shoulder during an All-Star game. Everybody decided that it was a better idea to let Rose do whatever he wanted (on the field, at least)

2. Gordie Howe: One of the greatest hockey players of all time. Consider the "Gordie Howe Hat Trick."

3. Jim Everett: Jim Rome was making fun of him a little too much so he knocked the shit out him.

4. John Daly: In a world of clean cut professionals, Daly comes along swinging with a beer gut and bloodshot eyes that make him look like he just had 18 rounds of sex with five or six stripper.

5. Pedro Martinez: The best pitcher of his generation and the only one with balls to beat the shit out of an eighty year old man.

10) Nolan Ryan

Ryan was one of the most dominating pitchers of his generation, has several MLB records, and also beat the shit out of the young Robert Ventera was he was 45 years old. 

9) Alexander Ovechkin

In a world of pansy superstars (the dig was intentional Sidney Crosby), here comes OV. He's the best scorer in the NHL and the only one who doesn't need an enforcer. He flies around the ice fighting players and knocking them over, then has over-the-top celebrations when he scores goals. 

8) Lawrence Taylor

A dominating defender, LT kicked the shit out of every quarterback he faced (including ending Joe Theisman's career); then he went back to his home and blew a bunch of coke while having rounds with hookers. One of the only true rock stars of the NFL.

7) Ty Cobb

Cobb was a racist and a mean drunk. He spiked his opponents, called them insults, and was as mean-spirited as they come. Everybody lived in fear of what he would do next on the field. He was also a hard worker who's one of the greatest hitters of all time.

6) Ron Hextall

Ron Hextall was a goalie, but the only goalie who never stood and took it. He is the all-time leader in PIM by a goalie, He would hit other players with his stick, and purposely taunt the other goalies in looking for a fight. His most memorable fight was in 1989 when he came out of the crease, hit Chris Chelios, and then proceeded to beat on him until it was broken up.

5) Michael Jordan

MJ was the biggest trash-talker in NBA history, completely dominated the league from 1990-1998 (besides those two years when he tried baseball), fought with teammates, and got Isiah Thomas removed from the '92 Dream Team because he didn't like him. He took everything personally, and even gave the NBA one more kick to the face during his Hall-of-Fame speech last year.

4) Jesse Owens

Jesse Owens was one of the first huge Black athletes in this country. He went to Berlin for the Olympics, athletically sodomized the entire German track team and did everything there except for spitting in Hitler's face.

3) Ted Williams

Williams, during his prime, decided to forgo a couple of years to fight in World War II. When Muhammad Ali (coming up) refused to fight, Williams volunteered for the military, became a fighter pilot, and missed 4 years, leaving about 100 home runs and 400 RBI's on the table. Eight years later, he did it again.

2) Muhammad Ali

Muhammad Ali was the greatest trash-talker of all time. He willingly took prison and a ban from boxing over going to Vietnam, and then came back just as strong. He took down Frazier and Foreman at the twilight of his career. 

1) Jack Youngblood

Youngblood makes Ray Lewis look like a fairy princess. Youngblood played the NFC championship, and the Super Bowl with a broken leg. And then suited up and played the pro bowl a week later.