Ohio State Football: A Private, Urgent Letter To Coach Tressel's Team

This is a sincere letter of importance for Coach Tressel and the 2010 Buckeyes.  While the premise is 'different', the offer of Bratwurst is real:

 

 

Dear Honorable Coach Tressel & 2010 Buckeyes,

 

I am Mr Myers, a native of Ohio, and citizen of Oklahoma, and an immense supporting benefactor of the Buckeyes of Ohio State University, THE.  Despite some idea, I am having never visited Nigeria nor participated in fraud of email.

 

I have decided to seek a confidential co-operation with you in the execution of a deal described here under for the benefit of all parties and I hope you we keep it as a top secret because of the nature of this transaction. Within the fandom of Buckness I share hope and vigor with co-operation of many others concerning American College Football Team Buckeyes and we have in our possession elevated expectations which we want to transfer with the assistance and co-operation of a mass media forum BleacherReport.com for you to receive such expectations, also we are handicapped in the circumstances as we do not play football, hence cannot tackle, run, pass, or talk of smack on the fields - thus you and your teams’ importance in the whole transaction.

 

This amount of expectation represents the balance of the total hope value executed on behalf of my fellow bucknuts conglomerate, which we the fans over-hyped annually and deliberately. Though the actual contract was partially fulfilled in 2002 at cost of Hurricanes of Miami, a flag subsequently cost us some joy as seen by others, leaving the balances in the tune of the said excessive expectation which we have in principles gotten approval to remit by effects rendered by many beers with my colleague Roger.   

 

Authority of my partners involved to propose that, should you be willing to assist us by living up to unrealistic expectation the transaction and erasure of flag stigma on September 11th, your share of the sum will be glory, honor, a Bratwurst, sauerkraut, and red cabbage (delivered in all sober humility), with bragging rights for us.  I we like to inform you that the transaction of this deal is safe there is nothing to fear about. Provided you treat it with utmost secrecy and confidentiality on your part. Also we freely admit your area of specialization via Tressel-ball is not a hindrance to the successful execution of this transaction.  Through position of field and strong defence we embrace your methods via credential.

 

I have all my confidence and trust in you and I hope you we not disappoint me.  Contact me if you are in interested in this deal and also if you are not to enable me know my stand. I and my partners are in position to make the payment of this bratwurst lunch possible in January 2011 provided you can assure us bragging of the Championship of College Football as our share.

 

Please remember to treat this matter confidentially because we are still in service and remember once again that time is important in this business with kickoff looming straightaway. I wait in anticipation for your full co-operation.

 

Accept my special regards and GO BUCKS!

 

Mr Scott Myers