NFL Marvel Comic Football: Doctor Doom Vs Doctor Doom?

Sometimes it seems NFL headlines are filled with the tales of super villains.

Bill Belichick gets compared to Doctor Doom.

Other players have cartoon character nicknames.

Or at least act like cartoon characters.

So what if Marvel Comics had a chance to fill out an NFL team squad?

Would it be a super starred ego ridden flop?

Or a super powered Super Bowl success?

Lets look at the sexy Scarlett Witch's crystal ball.

A successful team must be strong in the middle. Especially on defense.

Think Ray Lewis like having the behemoths Sam Adams and Tony Siragusa tying up blockers for him?

Well wait till ye see middle linebacker Wolverine's evil grin when he gets to line up behind The Hulk and The Thing.

Where do mutants and Gamma Rays radiation fit in under the NFL's strict drug testing policy?

Expecting Hulk to pick up his share of personal fouls, and outright ejections, the Blob was signed as a backup. But Blob's attitude is bad, he wants a higher contract, fights with his team mates and hates summer camp.

A team needs a big man to bring the heat so who better then Thor the God of Thunder.

Expect a lightening strike and a dance after each sack....all the while his Odin loving fans, the Thor's Roar, section go wild in their Viking hates.

Its rumored he wants a trade to the Minnesota Vikings...and he is very moody and high maintenance. His God like maintenance in fact even shames Shockey's mood swings.

And the league office has issues with capes.

At the other defense end is the steady, strong Colossus. The run stopper is the strong, silent team player every coach craves.

Since both outside linebackers mean spirited Luke Cage and the Punisher were both suspended for off field violent incidents the Hollywood glitz craving Wonder Man has moved into the run stopping spot.

But Wonder Man, angry over the franchise tag, is demanding a trade to the Raiders.

Steady, reliable Iron Man mans the other outside linebacker spot but one more booze related incident and he is gone.

The Vision, though an android, plays strong safety perfectly and is never injured.

Very smart and hard hitting, the Beast is the gambling but often injured free safety. His on field biting tendencies has also led to several key personal fouls.

One corner, the Black Panther is steady and strong, the other the Human Torch is well, often torched when he recklessly gambles on the big play and show boats for the fans.

Daredevil is the nickel back but sometimes he plays like a blind man and irritates owner Kingpin with his pro labor stances.

Despite reports he has divided the team, defense against offense, Defensive Coordinator Doctor Doom still retains his job. Some insiders say he is poison, but his schemes are amazing and baffle most offenses.

The renowned Defense of Doom led the league last year, and the Doctor let everyone in the media know it.

On to the offense.

Aging Captain America, a pure throwback player from the 1940's, is the QB. Some despise him for his goodie goodie nature and devotion to off field promotion. But he performs well in the clutch.

Behind him the moody high priced backup, Captain Marvel broods and grumbles, awaiting his chance. A great runner, he hates being used anywhere but at QB. Marvels very public string of Hollywood starlet sexual conquests has reportedly infuriated Coach Fury also.

And his glib comment, "Hey I'm Captain Marvel ain't I?" to E! as he staggered from a Hollywood club at dawn with four obviously intoxicated bleach blonds drew the ire of the league office.

Fiery Head Coach Nick Fury fears a bitter rivalry between the Captains could tear the team apart.

The star tailback, Spider Man, irritates his coaches and teammates with his irrelevant, cocky altitude. He plays bigger then his size but defenses take delight in punishing him.

Spider Mans on going ugly feud with the local press, led by the vicious Jonah Jameson, is a cause of much stress on the team.

The sullen near unstoppable short yard specialist, the Juggernaut has had issues since his multiple arrest in college. The cranky full back has been suspended several times and is disliked by teammates and coaches.

The speed receiver, the  Silver Surfer, can glide. But his concentration seems to be lost in space, literally. His hippie throwback tendencies tend to draw frequent league drug tests, and rumors of failures.

Old but ultra reliable Mister Fantastic is the goal line specialist. The stable but slow veteran can stretch for the high balls with the best.

Ant Man is the speedy third receiver but he has a hard time enduring the physical nature of every down play.

Namora, often miserable cause he feels under used and under appreciated, is the sometimes spectacular tight end. His dislike for the Surfer has led to rumors of locker room fist fights. Its said he is ready to walk away from the game.

The line is anonymous but solid.

High priced quiet giant all star, the Goliath mans the key left tackle spot. Literally it takes a train trip to get around him.

Man Beast, Man Bull, Man Thing, and Man Brute are all solid maulers.

The incredibly talented, but massively moody and simple minded, Hercules is currently serving a steroid suspension.

The Iceman is the most talented kicker in the league with the game on the line but is demanding a new contract or a trade.

Somehow offensive coordinator Doctor Strange, a master of the mystic arts, must mold the offense for Coach Fury.

Coach Fury's old school message, short patience, rages, and rah rah approach has been under heavy criticism in the media and also by some anonymous player sources who dislike the heavy hitting in training camp.

General Manager Charles Xavier, considered a mind reader by some for his draft day expertise, has a knack for picking talent but lately has been under heat from the publicity loving, short tempered, bullying owner Kingpin.

But he did hire the Miss Marvels the hottest cheer leading team in the league and those Ghost Rider stunts pack his tax payer built stadium, the Kingpin Palace.

It looks like another season of discontent for the Marvel Ducks.....

And the recent vicious parking lot fight between the teams reportedly drunken mascot, Howard the Duck, and a group of obnoxious fans has led to the Duck's suspension and a possible multi millionaire dollar lawsuit.

ESPN screaming stories of the You Tubed fight and the New York headlines raging that The Duck is a quack, the Duck Cracked, and Feathers Fly has led to rumors of mercurial owner Kingpin cleaning house and bringing in rogue college coach Norman Osborn.

It should be a strange season in Marvel land.

So strange even the combined talents of Defensive Coach Doom and Offensive master Doctor Strange and the fire of Coach Fury might not hold this team together.