WWE: Just a Few Random Thoughts

About a week ago and before the TNA Hardcore Justice PPV I did a little article on just a few random thoughts about TNA.  Now that WWE has a PPV coming up in a few days I figured I might as well do the same thing for them.

First things first, PG.  Are you f*ck#ng kidding me?  The only reason to make a show PG is to make it family and child friendly.  I understand that desire, but your product is people just beating the crap out of each other.  WWE Universe is a place where cheaters prosper, evil frequently wins, arrogance and selfishness are rewarded, and all conflict is settled through violence.  I have yet to see the parenting philosophy where those are the kinds of lessons you want your child to learn.  And the show is not the most intelligent or educational either.  Making it PG doesn't make it into the kind of stuff kids should be watching, or the kind of stuff parents should encourage them to watch.  You want to get into child-friendly programming, try a Saturday morning cartoon.  Try John Cena in the return of Rock-n-Wrestling or something.

I remember the Attitude Era, and one of the best things about it was the LACK of celebrities.  Before every Wrestlemania had celebrity time keepers, celebrity ring announcers, celebrity bell ringers.  Pam Anderson, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, and Alice Cooper were getting involved to just bring in a little name recognition other than Hulk Hogan.  Attitude era we didn't see that very often, sure Mike Tyson and Pete Rose actually got involved, but those were storylines and not just Jenny McCarthy walking to the ring with Shawn Michaels for no apparent reason.  The Attitude Era didn't use celebrities because their wrestlers WERE the celebrities.  And if they didn't get mentioned in the media at all, nobody cared.  They let the show speak for itself without the need for pandered pointless publicity.  Now it isn't just Wrestlemania, almost every Raw has some celebrity coming in trying to force WWE into mainstream, pop culture.  We could take ten minutes add a match and let our talent get over, or we can throw Shaq in the ring to get on Sports Center or let Kevin Federline pin our champion so we get on TMZ.  A metaphor, you used to BE Alice Cooper or Kiss.  Cool, popular, because of your "I don't care, bite me" attitude.  Now you are more like the Backstreet Boys or 'N Sync; everyone knows who you are, but not one of them cares.

Anybody else notice the terminology usage lately?  It's almost like the word 'wrestler' has been stripped from the vernacular completely.  Athlete, sports entertainer, and superstar seem to be the preferred terminology now days.  It is almost if the McMahons don’t like the idea of being in the ‘wrestling’ industry.  Then again, I don’t think they ever did.  Notice Vince generally doesn’t grab already-trained, already respected, already over indy scene wrestlers?  David Otunga  and The Miz were both reality TV douche bags, John Cena, Dave Batista, and Skip Sheffield were bodybuilders.  Most of the divas were pulled from assorted modeling agencies and were models and professional dancers before becoming ‘WWE superstars’.  NXT and Tough Enough just seemed like attempts at getting guys over without resorting to indy pro wrestlers who might do a better job of working a match and getting over than the guys they want to be at the top.  Notice the only NXT rookie anyone cared about from season 1 was fired despite being the most popular of the bunch?

Lack of respect for actual wrestling could explain why the WWE can’t run a successful tag-team or lightweight/cruiserweight division.  When was the last time the WWE produced a long time, successful tag-team that was kept together?  Of the WWE’s tag team title history, the only recent championship team that is still marginally together is Edge and Jericho and most of the recent tag champions were just singles wrestlers thrown together.  The few real teams were pure gimmick with limited ability; Highlanders, Cryme Time, Jesse and Festus, etc.  Most of their small guys also ended up as just stupid gimmick BS too, Jimmy Wang Yang, The Hurricane, Jamie Noble, Funaki, and Hornswoggle.

Nexus, am I the only one who can’t name a single member of the team without Wikipedia?  I can get Wade Barrett (only because he won) and that’s where it ends.  Seriously, in terms of individual name recognition they’re almost as bad as The Spirit Squad.

The more I watch the WWE lately, the more I’m convinced these are the guys who were too stupid to run the show when Vince Russo was still working there, at least when Russo saw a good idea he knew how to rip it off.

One last thing, I don’t recommend Linda’s senate opponents using WWE moments in advertisements.  However, if political opponents are going to use WWE spots to attack Linda McMahon don’t use the stuff that offends you like the Eugene or Zach Gowen moments.  Go after the stuff that will piss off conservatives.  Like when he booked himself in a match against God (Him and Shane vs. HBK and Him) or leading a satanic cult (Corporate Ministry).

Sorry, one more thing on the topic of politics and guest hosts: Dennis Miller, screw you.  I watch wrestling to get away from politics and all that crap, not to have it shoved back in my face.  At least (as far as I remember) when Sharpton was guest host he had the class to keep politics on the down low.