Top 50 Fantastically Funny Sports Quotes: Part I (No. 40-50)

Athletes have so many thing to worry about. They have to worry about their individual performance, and their team making the playoffs, and their bodies not breaking down from injury, and the endorsements staying afloat. 

That's a lot of things to worry about. 

Apparently the one thing they don't worry about is what they say to the media. There is too much to do.

Thankfully, we have reporters that record these precious and hilarious quotes from these athletes.

Here's Part I. Enjoy*

*Note* Most of them involve Charles Barkley

50. Jim Nantz

"I'm blessed to have great friends, and there are a lot of men in my life who've been more than just friends."

-- Jim Nantz, April 2005 "Golf Digest"

49. Johnny Damon

"It's better than my wedding ring. You can always get wedding rings."

-- Johnny Damon upon receiving his World Series ring in '04

48. Jalen Rose

"There's always going to be criticism when your name is Jalen. You have to wear a bulletproof vest and be ready for it."

-- Jalen Rose*

*note* What was the question that inspired this quote?

47. Shaquille O'Neal

"I had an awful first quarter but I picked it up. To all you single guys out there, it's not how you start the date, it's how you finish the date."

-- Shaquille O'Neal

46. Ben Gordon

"I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich before every game. Whoever invented that was smart. That's got to be one of the best sandwiches ever."

-- Bulls rookie Ben Gordon*

*note* Yes, they are delicious

45. Ron Jaworski

"It's cold, it's hard and I wanna feel it."

-- Ron Jaworski while describing a football in cold weather

44. Stephen Jackson

"It's been kind of hard, I'm labeled as a jerk right now, you know what I mean? But I love it. I've been a jerk all my life. My momma loves this jerk. My kids love this jerk. I'm going to be a jerk in a good way, though. I'm going to be a jerk to the other teams and just go out there and play basketball. I can do that."

-- Stephen Jackson*

*note* At least he knows where he stands. 

43. Drew Brees

"Just picture your favorite guy and put it right through the hole."

-- Drew Brees after winning a skills competition

42. Dick Vitale

"I'm tellin' ya man, to be able to stroke it like that must be some kind of feeling."

-- Dick Vitale on J.J. Redick's shooting ability*

*note* Wow, not sexual at all.

41. Shaquille O'Neal

"There's Fredo, there's Sonny and there's Michael. The Godfather handed it over to Michael. I have no problem handing it over to Dwyane."

-- Shaquille O'Neal on comparing Penny Hardaway* to Kobe Bryant and Dwyane Wade

*note* Is there anything worse you can say about a person then this? He pretty much just called Penny a huge bitch right to his face. 

40. Randy Moss

"When you're rich, you don't write checks. Straight cash, homey."

-- Randy Moss*

*note* "Straight cash" is the way of payment for rich football players and drug dealers.