Brett Favre Retirement Part Of Preseason Ritual (Satire)

Today longtime quarterback Brett Favre announced his third retirement from the NFL. This comes as a shocker since Favre waited much longer this time to announce his retirement. However, sources close to Favre told the media that there isn't much to worry about. 

Favre's agent Bus Cook had this to say about the retirement. 

"Pregame superstitions are nothing new to sports" Cook said, "Brett is getting up there in the years and this retirement ritual helps him get loose for the upcoming season."

It's hard to argue with Favre's logic as his past season with the Minnesota Vikings was one of the best of his career. 

Running back Adrian Peterson was well aware of the ritual and is among those in training camp not worried about the quarterback situation.

"I told Tavares Jackson not to bother learning the whole playbook, number 4 will be back soon enough" said Peterson. 

Vikings defensive end Jared Allen was among those left in the dark as to Favre's intentions but this isn't much of a surprise. 

"I went over to Brett's for dinner a few weeks ago, I tried to talk football with him but he only seemed concerned about my missing mullet" Allen said, "He went into his secret underground lair to try and find a ritual to help grow it back" 

The Vikings still hold the rights to Favre's contract which could appear to be a problem for the 40 year old quarterback who prefers to switch teams following his return from retirement. 

Cook seemed mum on the issue of Favre's contract though admitted that he had discussed potential teams with Favre.  

Cook was quoted as saying "Brett only feels comfortable showing up late to a training camp of a team he's never played for, so he can't be expected to learn the whole book in time" 

Favre was ready to sign with the Baltimore Ravens before being informed that the Vikings had no interest in releasing him. Favre was visibly upset that they did not fall for the same trick that the New York Jets did. 

What do you make of this ritual? Is Favre doing right by a league that has employed him for nearly two decades?