LeBron James Rumors: ESPN To Speculate on LBJ, Afterlife and Other Uncertainties

Due to the popularity of interviews with Chris Broussard, Ric Bucher, and other NBA analysts on the status of LeBron James and where He will end up this summer, ESPN has decided to do a special feature where they will have their NBA analysts give uncertain estimations on not only LeBron James' final destination, but all of our final destinations (among other topics).

An ESPN spokesman released the following statement:

"We thought to ourselves 'Look, we already have these analysts saying maybe LeBron will land here, but then again He may land there,' and they honestly have no idea.  At the end of every speculation made they even say, 'Don't quote me on that' or 'We won't know for sure until they put the ink to the paper.'  People seem to really enjoy it, hence why we spend half an hour discussing it on Sportscenter."

"So we thought, 'Hey, if they're already going to talk about something with the utmost confidence yet without any certainty other than their own opinion, why not have an entire special dedicated to it? And why limit it just to sports? I'm sure these guys can make way more uneducated guesses at things in general."

So during the course of the day, an agreement has been made with James, where He will announce a press conference every hour on the hour, stating that He has yet to make a decision on where He is going.  

This will spur the analysts to then speculate as to His future plans for half an hour. While the analysts wait for James' next inconclusive press conference, they will discuss several things that are completely impossible to determine without factual information.  

Ric Bucher has already started formulating his theories on things he can't prove. 

"I was thinking about saying something like, 'I think God exists. Then again, maybe he doesn't. That's one of those things we're going to find out later on. Probably when we die. But I don't know that for a fact. These are just the things I've heard.'"

Chris Broussard said he'd like to comment on the ending of the film Scream .

"I've watched it half-way through, and I think the killer is Billy Loomis. But the calls made to Sydney weren't from his cell phone, so it could be Jamie Kennedy. That guy seems fishy. Plus he pulls so many pranks on people in real life, it would just make sense for him to be the killer. In any case I'm not going to watch the end of the movie for another month so I have something to talk about ad nauseum."

A producer for Pardon the Interruption states that they have already planned a segment to fill space with things of the unknown as well.

"We were thinking Kornheiser could say something like, 'Aliens are real.' Then Wilbon would say, 'No they're not.' You can imagine how things would progress from there."

So be on the lookout tomorrow for more pointless conversations about things that potentially may or may not be discovered to be true in the future.  

ESPN is looking for its next big thing to hype as well, so if you have any suggestions, know any high-schoolers who are exceptional at sports, any other athletes having affairs, etc., send it in to the network, because Lord knows they need help covering things other than sports.