Nick Naming The Detroit Lions

Jared JohnstonContributor IJune 25, 2010

It's a really bitter sweet time of year. The summer is in full swing. Forth of July is just around the corner. That's great for the kids out of school enjoying the dog days of summer, but for us football fans this time of year is the news drought.

Training camp is still a month away. Free agency is all but over with. The sizzle from the draft is a distant echo now. The only news that will come about in the next month are the rookie contracts that will start to get signed and the odd tid-bits that come out of practice sessions. Like which QB threw a pick? Which one threw a TD? And who really cares? It was practice and a long way from the final 53 man roster cuts. 

So this piece is just a write up about something fun and interesting, nick names. 

It became apparent to me today as I watched an NFL Films video about old school nick names that used to be common in the NFL.

Granted, these nicknames were generally applied to players by the team mates they played with. But in this NFL films video, they mentioned how teams and players now-a-days seldom give nicknames to a player. Now, if a player has a nickname, that’s great and we’ll leave it be. Guys like Zach Follett, aka "the Pain Train" and Julian Peterson, aka "the Freak," are just fine with me.

In addition to them, Calvin Johnson has one all ready as well. In the form of the menacing robot/decepticon, aka “MEGATRON.” So again, Megatron needs no introduction, or nickname. 

I recently wrote an article for bleacherreport.com in which I gave DeAndre Levy the nick name, “the leveler,” because of the (leveling) hit he put on a Washington Redskins RB on a goal line stand last year. Well that and Levy/Leveler, it just kind of echoes his name, doesn’t it?

In  this write up, we’re going to try to assign a nickname to many of the most notable players wearing a Lions jersey. In the comments section, please make suggestions to anyone else.. Or if you have a better idea for one of the nicknamed.

Please keep in mind, these nicknames are intended really for player use. Some of them are kind of funny, and that is really the point of a nick name isn’t it? I surely don’t expect us all to bemoan “Bertha” for throwing a pick during a game. So, lets get started shall we?

Lets start with our golden boy, the kid with a cannon for an arm, Matthew Stafford. What could we call him that would be a fitting nick name, and would also be accurate an description?

Well the kid has an arm like a cannon, we all know that. The new Madden 2011 game has created him with the most arm strength in the NFL, and I agree. The kid’s arm is like a cannon. But what is bigger than a cannon (after all Jay Cutler has a cannon)? Well the biggest gun that was ever built (by Germany during WW2) was known as “Big Bertha” to the allies. Big Bertha could shoot a projectile 80 miles.

So Matthew Stafford congratulations, “Bertha” is your new nickname. That should endear him to his WR’s and TE’s don’t you think?

Next up is Kevin Smith.

Kevin Smith has a thing for gold. In college his number was 24 and to him that was special because he felt it was like being 24 carrot gold. So Kevin, your new nickname is “Nugget.” Just like a miner in the gold rush, you’re the Lions new “Nugget.”

Moving on we have  our newly acquired TE, Tony Scheffler.

Tony played his high school football at nearby Clausen High School. Which is really a stones throw away from Ford Field in the grand scheme of things. He also played college ball at Western Michigan. So really, Tony Scheffler coming back to Michigan to play football is a huge home coming. So forever more Tony Scheffler, you shall be known as “Homey.”

Nate Burleson was an excellent athlete from birth basically. The guy lettered in High School eight times, in three sports. However, when he played at Nevada, he actually played a game where he had 326 receiving yards, and not a single Touchdown. So Nate your new nickname is “Scoreless.”  Lets just all hope he does not live up to that nickname.

Derrick Williams actually played four different positions as a freshman Nittany Lion; QB, WR, RB and DB. So for this feat we will consider him a “jack of all trades.” But since that is way too long for a nick name, lets just call him “Jack” shall we?

Moving on to the Defensive line, which should really have a nick name of its own as a group, but we will leave that for a later article. Lets give them some nicknames as individuals shall we?

Kyle Vanden Bosch , I have to admit I figured I’d come up with something clever about his crazy looking eyes with those contacts I’ve seen him wear. But after reading his wikipedia page, I have to admit there is something much better to Nickname him for.

Did you know that Kyle set Nebraska single-season record with three blocked kicks—two field-goal attempts and one point-after-touchdown try as sophomore. This workman like DE was actually entertaining the idea of being a kicker at one point! So lets just call him “Kicker” from now on, shall we?

I think it’s quite hilarious the coaches gave him two shots at field goals, and one shot at a PAT in Nebraska, don’t you? Lets just hope Jason Hanson isn’t injured this season and we see Vanden Bosch making a 42 yard attempt in Green Bay!! 

Next we have newly selected Rookie Ndamukong Suh.

Everyone has been talking about what to nick name this guy and there are a lot of good suggestions out there. If you go back an watch the Big 12 Championship game, or any game last season for that matter, he's just a force on the line. He is fluid, powerful, and requires many guys to block, and even then he wins eventually.

He is like a Tsunami on the front line. And since his last name is Suh, I will forever call him the "Suh-nami." In Detroit, as he leads the way through offensive lines, it will look like a real tsunami with all the blue filling the line as though the sea was rising from the turf. 

We all know that Louis Delmas was considered by many to be like a "guided missile." And that much is true... To be honest with you I'm going to stop right here and leave the nickname for Delmas up to you guys.. along with the rest of them. I was thinking something like a Sidewinder, but that's kinda cheesy if you ask me. He needs a better one than that. What can you come up with Lions fans??

A few other guys that I think deserve nick names but didn't get one in this write up include; 

Jahvid Best??

Cliff Avril??

Jason Hanson??

That's all for now, have a great weekend Lions Fans!


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