Game 3 Sharks: VersusMe and The Big Relapse

Last night, I found myself alone in a bar cursing Versus, the cable sports channel. They say relapse is a part of recovery. I haven't had a drink in 556 days. How do I know it's 556? Because yesterday was 555. 

quick note: ("Tiburon" is Spanish for Shark, I call them "Tibs" for short)

Montreal vs. Pittsburgh was featured over my San Jose Sharks on Versus. So, I went to Barney's Beanery on the promendade. I don't call it Versus anymore, I call it "Canadian ESPN" or when I'm really mad..."Versus Me." 

The game started off as expected with lot's of pent-up energy in the Joe. The Tibs were spurning advances like a virgin at orientation. I knew the Zetterberg goal was coming back and not just because he trims his beard. Ferd kicked the puck in and that's illegal. 

There's tough spots in Hockeytown and being down 2-0 in the first frame is one of them. I sipped my 7-Up, ignored the waitress, and tried to work the day job while the Sharks/Tibs kept working, fighting, playing. The Wings looked like the better team. 

There were two khakied NorCal hockey dweebs to my right. I thought of giving them a thumbs up. Then, I heard the seemingly less-dorky of the two mutter “...not showing up in the playoffs..." Immediately, I middle-fingered them in my mind and Seto made it 2-1 to end the period. 

Every goal in this game was huge. But, when #16 five-holed that one with 1.8 ticks left you could feel Hockeytown grit their teeth and smell a hot dog lose it's luster. The dweebs wanted to high five, but I ignored them. 

At the start of the 2nd period, a man and his 4 year-old son showed up. Fighting to remain positive in my irrational mind, I came up with this thought. “Sweet, TibFan and TibKid, great karma. Let's do this!” 

The Friggin KID didn’t even know the Tibs wore teal. I started getting sweaty. Shaun called me, I sent him to voicemail. I was texting him that I was "in Church" when the song “Flashlight” by Parliment started to blast into my ears.  Shaun and I wore out the tape in high school listening to "Flashlight....green light...NEON light..." while low-riding my 1979 Olds Cutlass. (Bob Marley is for stoners, Parliment is for TibKids.) I told Shaunny, “Tibs win this game.” 

Then, Ferd (Zetterberg) scored that behind the goal cracker. I have to respect that skillful mind and veteran display of scoring guile. But, I don't have to like it. And trust me. I didn't. (And still don't.)

I was a -2 at the bar when the period ended 3-1. Not to mention the $7.50 I had shelled out for the 7-Up. (It was $2.50 which is total b.s. and then I tipped a five-spot for karma.) Time to head home. 

Luckily, the Sharks went on when the Pittsburgh game didn't go to OT despite the wishes of Canada ESPN's executive programming team. I can't explicitly prove they wished for the extra session, but screw them regardless. 

I had to get my mindset positive. When I find myself in times of trouble, I ask myself the simple question, "What Would Ryane Clowe Do?" This mantra (aka "WWRCD") leads me to simple answers.

For example:

1. "Ryane Clowe would not punch the couch nor scream at the television." 

2. "Clowie would fight like hell."

3. "Clowie would shut up and play hockey." 

Following Ryane Clowe's lead, I starting willing the Tibs to greatness.  

Sure enough...there was Jumbo in his "office", shoots? Goal? He never shoots from the office. I guess Patty had been yelling at him to shoot. (Good advice Patty.) Logan Couture from a Ferd Zetterberg-ish angle? Goal? Sure. 

I was a +2 at home and proud that our squad pushed back in Hockeytown. After the third, I took a shower (and I don't know why.) Joey Mac texted me as usual. As usual, my prediction delivered on point. See for yourself here.   Here's what I texted him, "I think Patty breaks out up the middle, nets."

After the Tibs display of intestinal fortitude, I ate paella and watched 'Glee' with my fiance and future-sister-in-law. I couldn't sleep though. I couldn't get Jumbo's pass to Patty out of my head. Friggin Tibs, the same team that finished checks, shot the puck, and grinded for results in the first round is doing it again in Hockeytown.

Haters might say, "The Sharks will relapse and drop off like they do every playoffs." 

But, relapse is NOT a part of recovery and tomorrow's day 557.