Tiger Woods: Pottymouth, Bad Influence, and Criminal

Michael Schottey@SchotteyNFL National Lead WriterApril 11, 2010

AUGUSTA, GA - APRIL 10:  Tiger Woods watches his tee shot on the first hole during the third round of the 2010 Masters Tournament at Augusta National Golf Club on April 10, 2010 in Augusta, Georgia.  (Photo by David Cannon/Getty Images)
David Cannon/Getty Images

When Tiger Woods walks out to his next tee shot at Augusta National Golf Club, the local law enforcement might be justified to slap some cuffs on Mr. Woods and put him in the back of a squad car.

Seriously.

Today on the sixth hole, Tiger yelled at himself, "Tiger Woods, you suck, goddamnit!"

Depending on the whims of the local prosecutor, and how prude that person is, under Georgia Code-Crimes and Offenses-Title 16, Section 16-11-39 , Tiger Woods is a criminal—guilty of disorderly conduct, a misdemeanor in the state of Georgia.

(a) A person commits the offense of disorderly conduct when such person commits any of the following:

(4) Without provocation, uses obscene and vulgar or profane language in the presence of or by telephone to a person under the age of 14 years which threatens an immediate breach of the peace.

Now, would any policeman in his right mind arrest Tiger?

Of course not.

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In fact, in most municipalities, police agencies have strict rules about arrests for misdemeanors. Unless there is reasonable cause, and police persons were in the presence of the criminal act, full custodial arrests are usually frowned upon for misdemeanors.

But, it could happen. In fact, if authorities believed a repeat offense was likely, an arrest could be made before Tiger strikes again.

In way of Tiger outbursts, this one was mild.

Forget not, Tiger Woods is a repeat offender.

Tiger has been known to throw clubs, drop the f-bomb (certainly a word to be considered "disorderly conduct"), and be an otherwise petulant child when things don't go his way on the golf course.

A conversion to Buddhism was supposedly the cure.

Guess not.

Before the hate mail starts, the point of this is not that Tiger Woods should be arrested, serve jail time, pay a fine, clean up a highway, or whatever. No one in their right mind, in this day and age would consider "suck" profane enough to press charges.

Especially not when it concerns the world's best golfer.

But, ghost of Earl Woods aside, today was proof that Tiger Woods is still Tiger Woods—a petulant, whelp of a man who was forced to grow up long before his time and has never been denied a single thing he desired.

Like Nike star Michael Jordan before him, Tiger is a carefully crafted public image that has begun to unravel at the seams. Jordan had his gambling addiction, general mistreatment of others and then his lovely hall of fame speech.

With Woods, his immaturity bred even more immaturity on the golf course and has given way to tales of promiscuity—unprotected sex followed by (allegedly) abortions and (most-likely) sexually transmitted diseases. Then it was revealed that Tiger was abusing alcohol and narcotics.

What his PR agent would do for good old-fashioned gambling addiction.

Tiger Woods has now reached a point where parents should be cautioned before bringing their children to a golf match. The FCC needs to tape delay any tournaments he's a part of.

Young people should not look up to Tiger. In fact, he needs to be held up as an example of success gone wrong.

No parent should wish this type of "success" upon their child.

As good as Tiger Woods is at golf, he is really bad at being a human being.

In retrospect, maybe Tiger was right on that sixth tee. More than he'll ever realize.