Tiger Woods appeared on national television last Sunday looking fit, relaxed, and altogether healthier than he did several weeks ago at the PGA Tour headquarters in Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla.
Perhaps Woods was finally ready to come clean about everything, dispel all the ridiculous rumors, and move on with his life.
An unscripted, no-holds-barred five-minute rapid-fire question-and-answer session. Perhaps this was going to be the final straw that would break the rumor mill’s back.
Or maybe not.
Seventy seconds into Tom Rinaldi’s ESPN interview, Woods was asked the most obvious question of them all: What happened during the early morning hours of Nov. 27?
OK, here we go—the moment of truth. Woods is about to answer a question regarding the single event that ultimately led to the most rapid fall from grace we’ve seen in modern times.
"It’s all in the police report" was Woods’ answer.
Aaand the wind could be seen exiting the sails.
Aside from that one answer, and his assuring us that no member of his inner circle knew about his actions—which is hard to believe at best—Woods came across as truthful and sincere in his other answers.
But, "it’s all in the police report"?
Are you kidding me?
Do you really want us drawing our conclusions based on the police report?
OK, if that’s the way you want it. Let’s have a look at the police report.
Hmm, there were two separate golf clubs lying on the ground and all of the back windows of Woods’ SUV were smashed out when the emergency responders arrived on the scene.
Well, that’s easily explainable. Wife Elin Nordegren must have simply shanked her first attempt at breaking out the glass with a nine iron so she went back inside to retrieve a pitching wedge.
A perfectly logical explanation.
Hmm, now what else do we have in the police report?
Oh yes, here we go—the emergency responders would not let Elin ride in the ambulance with Woods because they immediately suspected a case of domestic violence upon arriving at the scene.
Those loony emergency responders who see cases of domestic violence each and every day in their line of work—what were they thinking?
"Some people have speculated that Elin somehow hurt or attacked me on Thanksgiving night," Woods said in his public statement a few weeks ago. "It angers me that people would fabricate a story like that. Elin never hit me that night or any other night."
Well, which one is it, Tiger?
Is it the version where Elin never assaults you, or is it the police report you told us all to refer to?
Because your version and the police report paint two vastly different pictures of what went down during the early morning hours of Nov. 27.
Woods is taking baby steps toward an ultimate solution that will put an end to all of this lunacy—a full, tell-all interview.
Now, I know what many of you are probably thinking, and I agree: Woods doesn’t owe us anything.
But that’s the equivalent to saying we live in a perfect world.
In a perfect world, the public isn’t fascinated with the personal lives of athletes, celebrities, and politicians.
In a perfect world the public doesn’t yearn to see hard times fall upon successful athletes and celebrities.
In a perfect world, our television sets are not infested with celebrity gossip shows every single night at 7 p.m., just as we are sitting down to dinner.
In a perfect world, US Weekly, The National Inquirer, tmz.com, and radaronline.com don’t exist.
But as we all know, we don’t live in a perfect world, and until Woods comes clean about everything, including the events of Nov. 27, he is going to be constantly hounded by those tabloid media outlets who report the gossip that millions of Americans lap up like parched greyhounds.
Tiger, unfortunately there's only one way to end this thing once and for all.
So as your loyal brethren from Nike would say—Just Do It!
For more news, insight and analysis on the game’s hottest topics, visit The Tour Report .