The Top Columns of 2009 at JoeSportsFan.com

Before we get into our year-end recap, all of us at JoeSportsFan.com wanted to send a big “thank you” from our computer screens to yours. 2009 was the biggest and baddest year of our existence. Over a million different people came to JoeSportsFan.com to partake in our digital jamboree. We’re not quite sure if that was a marginal benefit or detriment to the world we live in, but nevertheless, you all deserve cyber fist pounds.

Without further ado, we present to you a summarized look at the top read columns (by page views) here at JSF in 2009. Enjoy.

1. Personalized Jersey Identity Crisis

“Two of the most prestigious numbers in Cardinals history. Stan Musial and Ozzie Smith – legacies both fallen victim to the impregnable manifests of Personalized Jersey Identity Crisis.” (read more )

2. Fun with Athletes and Google Suggestions

“It was entertaining to see that Brady’s suggestions contained the converse of Manning’s 'Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady.' In fact, it was Peyton’s #1 search suggestion.

Tom Brady’s #1 suggestion was, um, slightly different.” (read more )

3. “Seinfeld” MLB Player Appearances/References

“The familiar favorites (Keith Hernandez, Paul O’Neill and Buck Showalter) were all mentioned. As more responses came in, it became ever-necessary to compile an aggregate list of all Seinfeld athlete appearances and/or references – especially since some of the obscure ones are the most fun.” (read more )

4. USA has a National Slow-Pitch Adult Softball Team

“It’s not an exact science, but kicking your leg as high as possible while wearing baseball pants as an adult male will deliver maximum power when you’re at the dish. Seriously. Chicks dig the long ball, just ask the beauties sitting behind home plate.” (read more )

5. “Zambrano Mows My Lawn” T-Shirt

“Wow. There’s not really much to say.

What’s the over/under on how many games this guy is able to wear this shirt to before some Spanish dude kicks his ass?” (read more )

6. Virginia Tech Players Are *Really* Excited About Their Victory

“So how do you unleash the raw emotions that bubble to the surface after a moment like this?

Screw it, time to experiment…” (read more )

7.  A Bad Moment in Personalized Favre Jerseys

“No matter how you slice it, masking tape on any piece of sports memorabilia decreases its hipness. That certainly goes for sports jerseys; Brett Favre’s included.” (read more )

8. Top Seven Acceptable Man Crushes

“It becomes no wonder why the love of Albert Pujols can give strangers a bond quicker than a discussion of how to defeat Bald Bull. And I’m proud to call myself a member of the Pujols Man Crush Foundation.” (read more )

9. Sports Posters Gone Wrong

“When it comes to pumping out endless hype only to be met by utter disappointment, no position in sports comes close to matching the legacy of the NFL QB. A lesson to the young sports fans out there—wait a few years before ponying up for the poster of the new franchise QB."

"Trust us.” (read more )

10. Grown Yankees Fan with Baseball Glove Prevails

“Yes yes. We have quite a fascination with grown men with gloves, and needless to say, George Costanza Danny Devito Mr. Peanut and his Wilson rawhide caught our eye.” (read more )

11. Great Moments in Orange Skin History

“Alex Rodriguez, Chester Cheetah, Oompa Loompa, Simon Cowell, Tom Coughlin, Cosmo Kramer and some Jersey Shore douche bags would like to welcome Barry Melrose to their exclusive company.” (read more )

12. The Emasculation of a Baseball Fan in 90 Minutes

“You’ve gone from scoring front row tickets to a Rockies game to scoring front row tickets to a Rockies game…with your wife…who is wearing a purple cowboy hat…and your dog…who is also wearing a purple Rockies hat."

"How could things possibly get worse?” (read more )

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