The Cesar Gracie Academy: Taking Over Strikeforce One Belt at a Time

During the winter season, after a day's work in the cold, the UFC are the hot cup of coffee while the rest of the competition are a cold glass of water. That doesn't mean the cold glass of water isn't a fresh, soothing way to fulfill you of your needs. Outside the bright, shiny walls of the UFC, and yes, such a place does exist, in a world where many of the fighters that you all love, the same ones who moisten your panties, the same ones who were no where near as great as they are now before their pampered, pedicured contracts, there is another civilization evolving faster than a souffle in a high temperature oven.

A place called Strikeforce. Some of the key ingredients involved in the rapid expansion of the California-based promotion all have a similar characteristic, an inseparable bond, a brotherhood out of the Cesar Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy of Pleasant Hill, California. For those of you who haven't heard, get your arms off the nuts of Joe Rogan's extremely biased commentating.

November 7th, the highly-decorated black sheep of the academy, Jake "I Have a Black Belt But I'm Going To Leg Hump" Shields leg-humped is way to victory over "Mayhem" Miller, in what should of been a war for the vacant Strikeforce middleweight championship. In an attempt to develop his s***-talking skills, Shields began calling out the top of his respective divisions, but a good s***-talker knows his limits, apparently Shields doesn't. Forget that though, Shields is the Strikeforce middleweight champion, and he will be for a while. Strikeforce president is going to be kicking himself for the stupid amount of money that he wasted on Dan Henderson.

Now, as I begin to talk, a storm begins to brew with the introduction of the Cesar Gracie Academy purple belt who's been terrorizing the lightweight division, the true Strikeforce lightweight champion, Gilbert "El Nino" Melendez. The first fight against Josh "Wannabe Punk" Thomson was a fluke, and Melendez could of proved that with an arm tied behind his back. This past Saturday, Melendez once again showed another evolutionary step in his attack, as his fists were unleashed, free to rape the face of Thomson all night long. As the champion continues to train under the masterful mind of Gracie, he will continue to stew until the lightweight world snaps from the cumbersome pressure. The first legacy to crumble under Melendez will be Shinya "I Should Stick To Jiu Jitsu" Aoki, another walk in the park.

Great, two belts are sitting safe inside the academy, but there is always room for one more waistband of gold, one that just happens to be collecting dust in Scott Coker's basement, right next to his copy of Fighting Promotions For Dummies.

With time away from the walls of the hexagon, Nick Diaz has smoked all the weed that he needs to prepare for this fight... cough... for medical purposes of course. On January 30th, he finally wants to take what is rightfully his, the Strikeforce welterweight championship. He was once scheduled to fight the joke of a fighter, Jay Hieron for the strap, but the joke was instead replaced with hype in the build of Marius "Look What I Can Do" Zaromskis. This fight has one outcome written all over it's face- a flashy flying knee from Zaromskis, followed by a counter left from Diaz. The fight will end shortly there after by either a KO or submission, with Jimmy Lennon Jr. declaring Nick Diaz the first Strikeforce welterweight champion.

Thus, declaring the absolute dominance of the Cesar Gracie Jiu Jitsu Academy within the Strikeforce banner. The unfortunate outcome of it all is that Strikeforce is the cold glass of water, the spoiled needs of our fat, greasy species will eventually get bored with that glass of water, it's too cold out and they want some hot coffee. Shields, Diaz, and Melendez will eventually spread their wings and fly south to that cup of coffee, the UFC. Well, maybe Diaz and Melendez, after beating Henderson, Shields will finally crack under the pressure of his hype when he defends his belt against Ronaldo Souza, where he'll get out-classed as Jacare's leg's have anti-leg hump defenses.

Regardless, after January 30th and the following months afterwards, enjoy the reign of Cesar Gracie's disciples.

Lord Grim has spoken.