Tiger Woods Still Has the Public, Needs to Fight Off the Media

ESPN columnist Rick Reilly proved on Tuesday that the "worldwide leader in sports" is wasting $2 million annually on his services.

The sports media's favorite moralist went on SportsCenter and used his weekly "Life of Reilly" column to advise Tiger Woods on how to get through his tabloid-driven crisis of extramarital affairs and repair his public image.

Frankly, it was the worst counsel since Rusty Hardin advised Roger Clemens on denying use of performance-enhancing drugs.

In short, Reilly suggested Woods skip most of the 2010 PGA Tour, fire everybody he has employed since turning pro, stop taking endorsement money, and grovel before Queen Oprah and her female legion.

Someone should drug-test Reilly for crystal meth.

Tiger's image problem isn't with the general public. It's with the self-righteous sportswriters and bottom-feeding gossip rags.

Okay, so the best golfer on the planet repeatedly cheated on his beautiful wife and mother of his two small children, Elin Nordegren. That puts him on par with Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Kobe Bryant, Steve McNair, Ken Griffey Jr., and about 1,000 other professional athletes I could list.

Tiger wasn't the first, and he damn sure won't be the last hound dog jock.

Polls taken since Woods' day after Thanksgiving crash outside his Orlando home show that Americans will continue to cheer for Tiger on the golf course, buy the products he endorses, and feel strongly his philandering is a private matter.

Except for Gatorade dropping the Tiger Focus sports drink weeks before this crisis erupted, Corporate America is also standing behind Woods.

The only mistake Tiger has made during this saga is not participating in the Chevron World Challenge, which benefits his own foundation. That just let the media know they could get inside his head and intimidate him the way he usually does other golfers in the final round of a major.

Tiger should get back on the golf course as soon as possible and remind people why they admired him in the first place.

Now, since Reilly did such a piss-poor job with his public image rehab plan, let me set you on the right path, Tiger.

First, keep quiet.

The media may be demanding that you give them sound bites and images to continuously replay, but that is a phase that will pass. This is America, which means the next overblown scandal is only one news cycle away.

Remember what a big deal South Carolina governor Mark Sanford's Argentine mistress was—until Michael Jackson died the next day?

Second, you need to think long, hard, and carefully before deciding whether you really want to be married at this stage of your life.

I know your Dec. 2 press release stated you would "strive to be a better person and the husband and father that my family deserves."

But let's be honest—once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if Elin chooses to stay and work things out, she will never look at you the same way again.

Kobe had to buy his wife an eight-carat, $4 million diamond ring to apologize for his infidelity. You might have to purchase a South African diamond mine for all your "transgressions."

Tiger, if you decide you would rather live the bachelor life, you need to divorce Elin ASAP and get it behind you. To avoid a messy, drawn-out, public divorce battle, you'll have to cut her a check for between $250 and $400 million.

I know that sounds like a lot of money, but you can earn that back in five years or less if you return to dominance on the golf course.

Which brings me to No. 3: You should swallow your pride and rehire Butch Harmon as your swing coach.

Tiger Woods from 2010 forward needs to remind sports writers and fans of Tiger Woods from 1999-2002, when you won seven out of 11 major championships.

Simply breaking Jack Nicklaus' record of 18 major victories isn't enough. You have to crush that mark (win between 25 and 30) and start winning by double-digit strokes again instead of going to a playoff against unknowns.

My final piece of advice for you, Tiger, is this: If you do go back on the dating scene, please find some hotter women.

Elin is a dime. Your alleged mistresses that have come out the woodwork look like they've been dipping into dime bags. Cocktail waitresses, nightclub promoters, and porn stars? Come on, Tiger!

You're a young, good-looking, wealthy pro athlete. If Marko Jarić can marry Adriana Lima and Sasha Vujacic can get Maria Sharapova, I know you can do better.

Let me throw some names out there for you: Joanna Krupa, Lolo Jones, Swin Cash, Karolína Kurková, Selita Ebanks, Erin Andrews, and Meagan Good.

Tiger Woods has some work to do to maintain his spot on top of the American sports pantheon. But it is not the general public he has to fend off; it's the media moralists like Rick Reilly he needs to kick to the curb.