Sundays From the Cellar: Getting the Bears back on track

Record: 1-11

Sunday’s Inevitable Outcome: Bears 17, Rams 9

The Line: Bears -9
Just to give you a hint how bad the Rams are, the Bears – a team that hadn’t won in four weeks and had won one game in their last seven – came into Sunday as a two score favorite against the Rams.   

And as is often the case with Vegas, they were pretty much dead on.

Week 13 Viewing Strategy: Hope the real Jay Cutler shows up
Going into the game, Jay Cutler had 20 interceptions on the season, good for the most in the league.  And by “most in the league” I mean he actually has more than Jake Delhomme. He had 9 more picks than Rams quarterbacks Kyle Boller and Marc Bulger combined, with 12 of those being thrown in their 1-6 stretch since their bye week.

The Rams chances were effectively tied to the right arm of Jay Cutler…and for comedic purposes, we’ll say they were also tied to his bangs.

Final interception count on the day:

Boller – 1
Cutler – 0
Cutler’s Bangs – Awesome###MORE###

Thoughts from the Rams Message Board
“If my math is correct that’s the 900th dropped pass this season.”

“Boller just keeps showing why he is and always will be a scrub QB”

“Man, you gotta hope Donnie Jones (Rams punter) doesn’t get injured. If that happened, it could get ugly.”

“Bring on the offseason so they can try to sell us on all their “great” moves and then off to another terrible season. It is a broken record of ineptitude that seemingly will never end.”

“Follow the trend: 3 wins in 2007, 2 wins in 2008, 1 win in 2009. Yep, 0-16 next year. You heard it here first.”

At least it’s nice to know that I’m not alone in being tortured weekly by Rams football

By the Numbers…
Number of drives the Rams started at their own 40-yard line or better – 7
Number of points scored out of those drives – 3
Weeks left before this nightmare is over – 4

The Moment of “This team is horrible”
When even Dick Stockton, the Fox announcer, couldn’t help but to question the spineless play-calling by the Rams coaching staff after they ran a draw play on 3rd and 11 from the Bears 33 in the 4th Quarter:

“The Rams are playing almost as if they want to keep the game close and not aggressively to try to score.  They haven’t really looked that way today.”

It’s not cool to disappoint Dick Stockton.

Hippy UPS Guy Talks of Opportunity

 We bring back our friend the Hippy UPS Whiteboard guy back to inform us how the Rams intend on screwing up what will inevitably be a top 3 pick in next year’s draft…

Competition for #32

#26 Washington (L 33-30) – Some may say that a team that nearly knocked off the undefeated Saints doesn’t belong in this company.  I say, it takes something special to blow the game the way they did. 
#27 Oakland (W 27-24) – It’s probably a sound piece of advice not to bet on the bipolar Raiders.  God knows if they’ll come out and beat the Steelers like they did this week, or come out and rack up under 200 yards of offense like they’ve done five times this season
#28 Kansas City (L 44-13) – The Chiefs were just the tonic that the struggling Broncos needed to get back on track  
#29 Tampa Bay (L 16-6) – 5 interceptions on Sunday.  That’s the Josh Freeman I remember from Kansas State
#30 St. Louis (L 17-9) – The bottom three have really locked into their spots.  Barring any unforeseen victories, we may stay this way through the season.  
#31 Detroit (L 23-13) – The scored first and last in their game versus Cincinnati.  Unfortunately the Bengals scored 23 points in between
#32 Cleveland (L 30-23) – A furious fourth quarter comeback came up short and they are officially still horrible.

Up Next: Another ass whipping (@ Titans)

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