First Draft: Another Totally Relevant Super Bowl Halftime Show

The NFL press machine recently cranked out the big news that the 2010 Super Bowl halftime show was going to be headlined by yet another band that was popular in the 1960’s and 70’s.  This year it’s the remaining members of The Who that will take the stage at halftime in Miami to rock the house and provide a perfect opportunity for a 15-minute smoke break. 

Naturally, the press release that managed to make its way to the public hyped up the concert as the next big thing in music, but once again our sources managed to get their hands on the slightly more blunt first draft of the same memo…

The Who Set to Remind Everyone How Old They Are Rock Super Bowl Halftime

THE WHO, one of the world’s few bands that actually played at Woodstock and are still alive greatest and most dynamic rock and roll bands, will be assisted onto the stage to perform in the BRIDGESTONE SUPER BOWL XLIV HALFTIME SHOW on CBS Sports at Pro Player Joe Robbie Landshark Dolphin Stadium in South Florida on Sunday, February 7, the NFL announced Thursday in a desperate attempt to avoid having any nipples appear at the Super Bowl.

The Bridgestone Super Bowl halftime show is one of the most anticipated musical events of the year for women over the age of 50 who don’t like football but have been dragged to a Super Bowl party. More than 151 million viewers in the U.S. happened to have their televisions on during watched last year’s show. The Super Bowl and halftime show will be broadcast worldwide in more than 230 countries and territories the majority of which will have absolutely no earthly idea why they have just been exposed to 35 commercials for Bud Light.

The Who join an esteemed list of recent halftime acts that reads like a comprehensive list of the “untouchables” in your father’s vinyl record collection  includes Bruce Springsteen & The E Street Band, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Prince, the Rolling Stones, and Paul McCartney.

Few bands have managed to hang around quite as long despite having 50% of the group die had a more lasting impact on the rock era and the reverberating pop culture than The Who. Emerging before the first Super Bowl was even played in the mid-1960s as a new and incendiary force in rock ‘n roll, their brash style and poignant storytelling garnered them one of music’s most passionate followings the majority of whom will be sound asleep by halftime of the Super Bowl, with the legendary foursome blazing a searing new template for rock, punk, and everything after. Inducted into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in the same year that the average NFL player was born 1990, the band has sold more than 100 million records worldwide, placing 27 top-40 singles in the United States and United Kingdom including one about a deaf, dumb and blind pinball player and earning 17 Top 10 albums, including the 1969 groundbreaking rock opera Tommy – seriously a “rock” “opera”, 1971’s pummeling Live At Leeds, 1973’s Quadrophenia, 1978’s Who Are You, and their most recently acclaimed Endless Wire, their first full-length album of new material since Peyton Manning was six-years old in nearly two decades. Last year, they became the first rock band ever to be awarded the prestigious Kennedy Center Honors and this year will be awarded the prestigious honor of having 500 people hired to dance in front of the stage and pretend they’re in Miami for the concert instead of the Super Bowl.

This year marks the third time the Bridgestone brand has essentially flushed millions of dollars down the crapper sponsored the Super Bowl halftime show.

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